Mother-in-Law HELL

When people come to know about my divorce they assume that my husband was alcoholic. He was not an alcoholic, he was mother-holic and his mother was son-holic. The words mother-holic and son-holic are not found in English dictionary. I have coined these 2 words as these 2 species exist only in Indian culture. Being extremely possessive of their son is a disease which affects many women in India. I am listing all the symptoms of this disease here The first and the most important step is to raise your son in such a manner that he has no individuality and he is not capable of making a single decision himself. By doing so you will ensure that he will never have a love marriage. His marriage will always be arranged by you and he can never stand up for himself or his wife. Always speak in English and declare your qualifications to show that you are educated, people don’t realize that there is no relation between education and nicety of a person. When your son gets engaged, take into account every single rupee he spends on telephone calls for calling your future daughter-in-law and tell her how expensive it is. You have to tell your son 100 times-“See, how beautiful bride I have found for you”. In general men are poor in communication. Your son will repeat whatever you teach him Every woman likes to hear –“You are beautiful”, no woman likes to hear “ My mother has found such a beautiful wife for me”. Tell your son that it is important that he should record and report every minute private detail about his wife and in-laws to you. Your programming of your son has to be perfect. There should not be even a single bug in your program Ask for expensive gifts in dowry and then claim that you have never asked for anything. Do all the shopping yourself with no regard to the likes and dislikes of your future daughter-in-law. Do anything and everything possible to spoil your daughter-in-law’s mood on her wedding day. Do not welcome her into the family and always treat her like an outsider. Always remind your son that he is spending extravagantly on his wife and in-laws to make him tighten his purse strings. Humiliate your son in front of his wife by asking his salary and telling him how meagre it is. Due to frustration he will inflict pain and suffering on his wife. Never allow her to become financially independent yet humiliate her for not supporting the family financially. Make sure that even if she needs 5 rupees she has to beg from you. Write a letter to your son asking him to leave a foreign country to come and stay with you as you will be dying very soon and you want to die in his arms. Praise your daughter-in-law in front of your son and ill-treat her in his absence. She should not be allowed to go out alone and develop friendships and relationships. If any of her relatives or friends comes home, you have make disparaging remarks about them to make sure they never come back. She should have no access to phones and internet or any other means of communication. All her letters should be scanned and censored. She should have no privacy of any sort. Criticize and complain about her appearance, cooking and house cleaning to poison your son’s mind about her. Tell your son repeatedly how much weight she has gained after marriage. If she has any health problems, dismiss it by saying that it is psychological or you can even tell her that it is hereditary, blaming it on her parents. Always misconstrue whatever she says and always take an opposite point of view. Never forgive even the smallest of her mistakes. When she makes some mistake, comfort her sweetly and then go behind her back and tell her parents all about it in an exaggerated manner. Show preference for other daughter-in-law over her. Compare her with imaginary daughter-in-laws from TV soap operas. Make up stories about her and encourage other family members to degrade and abuse her. Do not appreciate her when she does something well. Throw away all the stuff created by her and dear to her like paintings or craft pieces. If she cooks well ask her to make something simple which is suitable for senior citizen. When she cooks something simple, ask her to leave the kitchen and cook your son’s favourite dish. When your son is enjoying his favourite dish, sit close to him and whisper in his ears that his wife is jealous of your cooking skills. Start cracking vulgar jokes on the dinner table and switch on T.V. channels which are unfit for family viewing. Embrace and kiss your grown-up son in front of his wife and call him “my baby”. Never allow your son and his wife to spend quality time together. Purposefully call up your son or show up at inappropriate times (like honeymoon, early Saturday mornings, late night etc.) Intimacy for women is communication and for men it is physical relationship. To interfere with their intimacy you must cling to your son and keep him busy from morning till night allowing him to enter his bedroom only when he is extremely tired and ready to fall asleep within seconds. Keep your son or husband awake all night by pretending to be sick and whine. Next morning either one or both of them will shout at your daughter-in-law. When you succeed in creating a misunderstanding between your son and his wife, make them sit in the living room pretending to resolve the conflict. Put the entire blame on your daughter-in-law and intimidate her to suppress her feelings telling her that your son might loose his job due to stress and disturbances created by her immaturity. When she is not at home steal her driving license and burn it. Steal her personal letters to show your son later how mean and horrible she is to disclose petty internal matters to outsiders and how outsiders are instigating her and spoiling his marital life. Never wish her on her birthday or anniversary. If someone else calls her to wish, do not allow her to attend such calls. When her parents call to wish her disconnect the call by telling them to come and take their daughter to mental asylum. When she is expecting it is the perfect time for you to interfere with her diet and comfort. At the time of delivery you must prevent her from going to her parent’s house and warn and insult her parents so that they cannot come and help her. Do not celebrate the birth of her baby. Purposefully make statements that imply that her baby doesn’t resemble your son. Offer your advice and opinion on how to parent, cook, clean, etc. when she didn’t ask for the advice. Give cheap and useless gifts to her and her children. Feed the grandchildren “forbidden” foods. If your son is helping her in taking care of the baby you have to create some high priority work for him. Take out a good cauliflower from the fridge and throw it into the waste basket. Accuse him of bringing rotten vegetable and send him off to market to get a fresh vegetable immediately. When the baby is 10 days old and the daughter-in-law is still too weak after delivery and probably suffering from postpartum depression, it is the perfect time to desert her leaving her with no money and no other help. In the absence of your son keep insulting and irritating her so that when she speaks up you can create a scene and go to stay along with your son in some resort for several days and nights. Continuously nag your son for being a slave to his wife if he helps her in anyway. If your mother-in-law shows any such symptoms and you get no support from your husband, it is time to file for divorce. Many young women think that their husband will protect them. For them I have a perfect example to quote from the epic of Mahabharata. Draupadi had not just one, she had 5 husbands and not even one helped her. A woman must be strong enough to help herself. All dreadful and monstrous mother-in-laws are obsessed by the thoughts of losing control and have feelings of insecurity. Upon analyzing I realized that all such women are weak women. They have always played a victim in a blame game throughout their lives and do not take responsibility for the choices which they have made. They have so many bottled up emotions against so many people that they are ready to explode when they themselves find a victim in the form of a daughter-in-law. They forget that respect is earned through respectful behaviour even towards your daughter-in-law. This is not a disease acquired by infection or heredity; it is acquired by a woman’s conscious choice. I have also seen mother-in-laws who are strong women and beautiful human beings. One of them decided that her son should live in a separate house with his wife after marriage. I know a daughter-in-law who is in love with her mother-in-law because she takes care of everything – cleaning the house, cooking and managing her baby and still expresses gratitude towards her for being in her son’s life. Wow! Why wouldn’t she love her? This is very useful to anyone who wants to spoil their relationships with their daughter-in-law but I wrote this book so that when my son grows up and gets married I have to do exactly the opposite of whatever I have recommended in this . I want all of you to read and use this information to identify any dangers to your valued relationships and make necessary changes. I have to thank and give due credits to the mother of my ex-husband because without her talent and creativity I wouldn’t have had enough experiences to share in this.