Mother-in-Law HELL

I wanted to thank you guys for having the courage to write about what is going on with you MILs and ofthe ILs. I don’t even know where to begin with mine, though I am not sure I think she is the devil, she sure acts like she has a demon. When my husband and I met, he had kids from a previous marriage and so did I. And from the moment they met, our kids did not have an issue with each other. Then our ex’s found out about us and they tried to poison the kids against one another and against us. For the most part, we stayed positive and focused so much of being a unit that the only negative they got was when they were gone. That was until my MIL started spending more time with us. She basically reminded my skids that their mother used to choose favorites between them and that for that reason, I had no right to punish them when they were wrong. so, if they acted up before we headed to her house, my IL’s would tell me that I needed to just let them be free without consequences. And that is never going to happen!! Anyway, she would do things like ask my kid what she wanted for Christmas under the guise that she was going to buy everyone one gift, and then by each of her grandkids a gift and then give them an extra gift (all except my kid) and that extra gift was identical to the one my kid had asked for. Then she would say, “I’m sorry I forgot to buy you a second gift.” smirk and walk away. And everyone other IL in the room would pretend like they did not see it. Eventually, I gave up and started buying my kids extra gifts and bringing them and putting them under the tree. One year my kids got more gifts then my skids and she got so angry that she started buying the same amount of gifts. She kept saying that what I did was unfair because I was acting like I did not trust her – who would. But I should have realized from her history that hoping for peace was a tall request. Anyway, push to the summer and she shows up to my house and apologizes to me and my kids for her behavior over the past many, many years. Says she wants to start a new and by the way – my husband and I are struggling – can you give me some money and not tell your DH or mine. And I don’t do that, I called him – determined an amount and gave her money. I would have done it for anyone – but I was hoping it would bring peace. Things got worse. She asked to take the kids for a week so I could go on a vaca with DH. Note, we had never been – not even on a honeymoon, and on the day of my wedding (after offering to keep our kids for one week so we could stay home and enjoy ourselves) my MIL curses out my DH in the church and tells him to pick the kids up at 8am the very next day. She told her DH that we said that we didn’t want him to keep them. ANYWAY, she starts this fight with my all of the kids, having secret meetings with one of the teenagers and yelling at other kids when they did not do anything wrong. When I got home my kids were tied in knots. All of them. But the mIL did not stop there. No, she lied to the rest of the ILs and had them calling me and curing me out on the phone, showing up at my house being rude and telling me that I am a bad mom and talking about me to my kids and I finally got fed up and said that I wanted to back away until the adults could act like adults. I could barely even be around them for family events. It bothered me how they could say such horrible things to me in private and try to hug me in front of my kids – NOT OK!!!! They then decided that I had no right to back off and because I did then they would have nothing to do with me, my DH and our kids. And that really hurt my DH. Mostly because it seemed like they were fine with hurting us but did not want us to protect ourselves or our kids from their bad behavior. So, we wrote them, told them we loved them and that we would be here when they were ready to act like people. My MIL called and said that they had no intention of talking to us because they wanted to be able to express how bad I was and that they were no planning to be civil about it. And well, that is now on them. I cannot force them to act right, but I do not have to let them treat me badly. I have some peace now and I hope it stays that way. We will see. Thanks for your stories they have really helped me.