Soon to be MIL driving me crazy, help!
by Bride2B on 12/03 @ 3:13pmRight from the start I thought there was something about her the way she grilled me, it was worse than a job interview. She was always commenting about my figure I am a size 6-8 and she goes on about how she was like me and any other girl thinner than her, she has been on a diet since I met her, but never loses any weight.
When my Mum had cancer, she grilled me again and was really quite mean until I had to turn away sobbing. When we lost our baby, she was at another sons house looking after them cos the wife had a cesarian, wow! She didn’t give a crap about us, she just stayed there. She is so mean she told her friend off for offering to buy my friend and I a coffee when we bumped into them at a garden centre.
When I had my second baby, I was so despressed I felt like she was trying to take her away from me and everything she does good comes from my Husband to be and everything bad must be from me of course.
I only work part time now and it’s my fiance’s 30th coming up, I asked them if they could make a contribution towards the food and they were so nasty to me, made me feel like I was asking if I could rob them blind. It wasn’t for me, it was for their son. They said they didn’t see why they should have to pay for anyone to eat including themselves and they don’t do that sort of thing and it is my responsibility.
I have started standing up to her, in a diplomatic way, but so that the bitch can read between the lines. Also I just had an operation and my stitches are really sore, she has done nothing to help us at all, I think they have made their feelings about me more than clear. Also they’ve added an extra suit onto our wedding budget, isn’t that kind of them? She has always spelt my name wrong, I’m sure it’s deliberate. She thinks she can compete with me and has even copied some of my clothes and make-up. She is spoilt, expects all the time and even asks people to give her money for her birthday, the most selfish person I know. On me and my fiance’s first holiday together, his parents just turned up completely unannounced. They think they can do it all the time now, and the cheek they say they were just passing by because you normally follow people, stalkers!
I can’t wait until she needs help or when she’s old, she’ll get sweet nothing from me.
Any better ideas on how to deal with her?
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Advice
2 Responses to “Soon to be MIL driving me crazy, help!”
Here’s how you deal with her:
1. When she grills you, give vague answers that tell her nothing.
2. 30th B-Day food. Do a cake and nothing else, when they complain, say you wouldn’t want to “impose” on them for food donations and this is all you could afford — and please, ENJOY the cake!
3. Name spelled wrong. Easy, spell her’s wrong too. Better yet, mispronounce it.
4. Showing up unannounced: Go over to her house at 5 a.m. and invite yourself in. Each time she shows up at your house, repeat the process. She will soon tire of it.
5. When she is old, give her sweet nothing and dance on her grave once she is gone. I know I am planning to!
Bride2B-
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Hey !Hey!Hey! You say Stalker like that is a bad word!(Just joking!!!
You have a jealous FMIL on your hands.
Do not tell her anything or you can rest assured that she will try and thwart your plans.Jealous people try to ruin everything as a way of making themselves feel good.
When she says she used to be as thin as you are now,ask her why she isn’t now,like (insert older movie star’s name here ).Or you can say,”Oh well,you know I hear that everybody is thin and nice looking when they are MY age!”Find out her insecurities and poke the stick in them hard.
Call her up and tell her that you tried to buy her a sweatshirt for christmas but they only had a 3X and you thought it would be too small-(weight head trip)Tell her that her makeup (that looks like yours) is gathering up in her wrinkles.
Don’t count on this woman to comfort or adore you.I know you are looking for this because you said she didn’t spend time with you when you had a miscarriage.She didn’t help you since you had surgery and have sore stitches…
She is NOT going to help you,so forget about expecting her help,or her love.
Why didn’t you slam her when she grilled you to the point of tears about your Mum’s cancer? I would have done it for you,if I would have been there.Bless you.
Do not stand there and let this nasty B*tch grill you.Say “Oh I forgot,I have to make a call”(grocery shop,pick the lint out of my bellybutton,enroll in clown college etc,etc,etc,Just make up anything but LEAVE.)…and walk away.Just leave-don’t stand there an let her rip you to shreds.
If she spells your name wrong,call her a variation of her name.Remember Endora on the TV show Bewitched?
She called her son in law Durwood,instead of Darren and it drove him NUTS!Do the same to her verbally and in writing, and you will see her make more effort to spell your name correctly.Or how about making up a crazy nick name for her and drive her crazy with it.If her name is Rose and she is weight obsessed and doesn’t want to be fat,call her Roseanne as in Roseanne Barr !
As far as fiance’s party goes for turning 30…change the plans and don’t include them at all.Take your fiancee out to a nice restaurant or whatever you can afford for him that you feel is nice and just brush them off if they call.Tell them the party has been cancelled due to a lack
of funds.
If you really want a party for future hubs on the cheap,why not hold a suprise potluck at another of your friend’s house,BYOB and bring a big cake over?Email everyone and decide who will bring what or make it simple and say everyone has to bring one pizza and a 6 pack or 12 pack to share,you will bring cake.You might also want to explain how future hubby’s family did him dirty.
Be sure you do not take anything like money for your wedding off of these people.Elope,for crying out load and cancel the extra suit they ordered or you will NEVER hear the end of this.
Please don’t think I am being mean to you,I am just giving you some insight as to why your FMIL is a real b*tch,but I think FMIL is mean to you because you got pregnant twice to her son before marriage.She might see it as you tried to “trap” her son into marriage.Plenty of women do this to try and get a guy to commit and it often doesn’t work.Sometimes the guy’s mother will resent the girlfriend/fiancee because she will think that her son has lost his opportunities to have a wonderful life because of the pregnancies.(truth be known,the pregnancies would not have happened if they were not meant to happen exactly the way that they did with your future hubby,so don’t let her make you feel bad about this,no matter what.)
As far as the dropping in unannounced thing goes,do not open the door for them.Or,crack the door,say “I wish you would have called because I am sorry but now is not a good time to visit as the baby is asleep.I have been trying to get the baby to sleep for a while.Please come back at another time,but call first to confirm!”
Good luck to you and stand your ground!