My boyfriend and I dated for 2 years, purchased a house together, and he’s been helping to raise my 4 year old daughter. His family (mother, father, sister) have never liked me, and are not what we’d call “warm” people. (Luckily they lived 4 hours away.) They have an extreme negative view on life, enjoy tearing those around them down, and make it a point to use ever lull in a conversation to slight me or whoever they can. Worst of all, his mother is a control freak who tries to manipulate and baby him. We’ve had many, many fights over the last year, almost all of them regarding his family, where I was told I “misunderstood” them, and that I should apologize, etc. I recently moved out and have been living apart for two months, and although I miss him, it’s been absolutely wonderful not having to deal with his family.
Recently though, we’ve been discussing moving back in together, and the possibility of getting married sometime in the future. He’s broken the news to his mom and sister, who have gone insane. I truly believe his mother is clinically unstable, and takes a cocktail of pills for her depression, anxiety, and ADD (I know this is all sounding wonderful.) She’s said the most off the wall things to him, such as she believes I had my daughter for a free college ride, I “abuse” my daughter, my only goal in life is to cut him off from their family, etc. His sister sent me a horrible message stating she hopes my daughter’s father will get custody, she hates me, wants nothing to do with me. For the first time, the boyfriend has actually stood up for me, and told them he will not be speaking to them unless they can act like rational, civil human beings.
I’m proud of him for finally taking a stand and not continuing to be a mommy’s boy, but this family is bats**t nuts. I honestly can’t imagine ever having children and allowing them to be around. I can’t even imagine seeing them ever again, because they’re toxic, destructive people in the worst way. I don’t want him to have to cut them off, but honestly, they aren’t a good influence on him anyway, and maybe it’s better off. Should I give my boyfriend the benefit of the doubt, and pray that he’ll either end his relationship with them for now until they’re in check, or just run for the hills while I have the chance?
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Advice
6 Responses to “Spawns of Satan”
Get your mind around the fact, if you marry him, he needs to cut off his family when they are acting like idiots. If he wants to keep his relationship with them (which most likely he will), then you need to get your investment in that house back and go your own way. Think very hard about enduring more nastiness from them on a regular basis. It won’t get better or improve with them.
I vote for run for the hills while you have a chance.
There are too many Mommy’s Boys on Earth (and I think I have dated all of them except your boyfriend)and I think they need to be stamped out as a spineless male variety.Yes,just run for the hills and don’t procreate any more Mommy’s Boys.If women refused to mate with Mommy’s Boys and also refused to create them by babying their male children,the world would indeed be a better place.I am stepping up to the helm personally to lead the No More Mommys Boys Project.
We women look at Mommy’s Boys as an incomplete project that is waiting for our final touch to be complete.We think we can train and improve these types of men to be what we want them to be but trust me,this never ever works out.
You might as well try to train an ape that you found out in the wild to have table manners and wear a three piece suit,or try and make a grizzly bear and a chicken be best friends forever.
People only change if they see the value in it,not becasue we want them to,and trying to change a Mommy’s Boy into anything but a Mother Worshipper,such as a Descent Caring Devoted Husband,will never happen
and is not worth trying for.
And,since you are probably not a board certified surgeon,you have no hopes of even surgically removing your man’s lips from his Mom’s *ss,so just forget it.
He is now and will always be in a committed relationship with kissing Mommy’s *ss at the expense of your sanity.
Leave now and go find yourself a real man who keeps his parents in the proper place in his life,which means not joined at the hip with them.
I hope this post made you laugh or smile at the least,but if it keeps you from wasting 16 years of your life on a Mommy’s Boy like I did,even better.:-)
Personally, I would head for the hills. and DANG, “stalker”-I want to know your story!!! You sound angry!
But if you do decide to get married, counseling is a MUST. The counseler can help you both establish boundries because, yes, it WILL get worse if you two have a child together. …they will want to see the child…he will feel guily…etc…
Thanks to both of you. It definately provided laughs and needed relief from the drama of it all. I’m concerned, and I should’ve posted this before, because as any woman knows, finding a good man is like finding a needle in a haystack. This one is intelligent, good looking, hardworking, fiscally responsible, funny, and charming, albeit irresponsible at times (it was a sad day when he attempted to vaccuum). My hopes are not high on running into someone who has great qualities, the right chemistry, AND a wonderful family, but I may just be cynical.
It pisses me off to no end that this family will and has hindered him from having a complete relationship because they just won’t stay out and let him live his own life. I worry that if I do end up moving back, his decision to cut them off will end up making him resent me, even though I’m SURE the family would act the same towards the next girl. Is this preventable? Any tips, tricks, or ideas? We’ve done couples therapy in the past and it helped at times, but this issue has been ongoing between him and them long before I came around.
Honey, I hate to break it to you, but you would be better off without this guy. Take it from someone who is currently married to a mama’s boy with a whack job family. You don’t want to be ten years into a marriage like I am and wishing that you had never, ever married the jerk. Get out while you can.
Girl, RUN and RUN fast…… I have been with my husband for 7 years and we recently got married. It wasn’t until we got married that his moms true colors showed through. I always knew deep down she didn’t like me, but it wasn’t until we got married that she said every nasty thing that she could about me. I always new his mom was a whacko, but now I just think she needs to be commited to a mental institute. Just know that once your married the problems you have now will get worse. I have made it very clear to my husband that my MIL is not welcome in my house and that all his days off and Holidays are to be sent with me. I told him if he wants to see his mom then it’s going to be on his own time. I had to become a bitch to get this women out of my life and so far I am HAPPY!!!