You are, (since you are looking for help), bright..you want a good future. Look into the recommended programs. You guys can do this. There are also, in some areas, subsidies for families needing daycare. Or maybe the local community college has a lab school? Where people take classes to earn child care credits, and YOU can get free or reduced daycare, especially if you are a student. Look into the financial aid offices. When you go in to meet with your caseworker, let her know how much you want an education, and you want any help you get to be temporary. Let her see you as smart and vivacious, even if you are pregnant. Most “welfare” is “welfare to work” now. They want to help you get on your feet. SO ASK!!

You *can* be a great mom.

Sometimes these MIL’s are like pet owners. They love us, we are so cute and fuzzy when we are a thought or an idea. Then we are suddenly real life DIL’s and the good times are over.

In your case, you aren’t that cute little waif her son was interested in, that stayed over, that she could rescue on her schedule. Now you are in trouble, and you took her boy down with you. It may have come across as harsh, but these ladies are right. She probably sees you and her son as something to fix, someone irresponsible and “sensitive” that she is now responsible for.

You can prove her wrong. She may never admit it, you may never have that relationship you once had, but you can do it. The ball is in your court baby girl.

Establishing boundaries in somebody else’s house is next to impossible. You need your own house for your rules and boundaris to apply. If you are not already doing some housework for this witch, you should be. That way you are not as beholden to her or look as immature to her.

If your mother is dying, why aren’t you spending more time with her? That would at least get you out of the house. If you have to stay with MIL only go there to sleep and try to stay out of her house as much as possible.

If you want your stuff from your father’s home, all you have to do is call the police department and have an officer accompany you or meet you at the house when you get your things. You say you can’t get your stuff for legal reasons. That makes no sense unless you are speaking about a car that is not in your name. If that is the case, then it is not yours, even if you made the payments.

Your pregnancy keeps getting mention because your life will truly be hell once the baby arrives. You are living in paradise right now. Wait until MIL swoops in and tries to take over mothering your child. That’s when your real misery will begin. GET OUT NOW or you are heading down a nasty road indeed.

If you act like a child, they will treat you like a child – this is the line I used on my own BF to get him to stop bringing his laundry home to mommy and it worked..

every comment here has suggested you and your husband find some way to support yourselves so you can get out from under MIL’s thumb. I really hope you are able to do that. I’m sorry for all the difficulties you have in your family and with your in laws – I am even sorrier for your child once he or she is born – they will have a difficult time if their mother is so unhappy. I hope you are able to improve your situation soon.

Maybe I don’t understand the full story but it still seems to me that you are living off your MIL – even if your insurance covers your medical bills, does it pay for rent/food/utilities? A lot of DIL’s keep repeating the mantra “my house, my child, my rules” – unfortunately, you are in MIL’s house so you can’t apply that – it’s HER house. Her treatment of you and your mother sounds terrible and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Nevertheless, it still seems a little ungrateful to try and establish a whole bunch of boundaries and rules in someone else’s home. The longer you stay, the unhealthier things will become. The sooner you leave, the sooner you will be able to find your self-respect. I hope your husband is supportive of you and recognizes the situation for what it is. good luck and best wishes for you and your family.

Then in your follow up post you state “I just wanted to know of ways to set boundaries with my MIL”. You do not knuckle under to her demands….yes, I realize you are living under her roof, eating her food, and sleeping in her sheets…..so what! If you do your share in household chores and pull you weight as much as you can, you do not need to answer to her as a child. Get on the phone and get your own OB/GYN lined up and while you are at it line up a family doctor too. Then just repeat and repeat that you have a doctor. And see if you can get on WIC/foodstamps…..it sounds like you will be able to quailify. Then lock your food up for your consumption….since MIL likes to not buy enough “good food” for everybody.

You are a member of that household now and you are entitled to have visitors too. Your Mom should have been invited in by MIL ….she was rude and controlling. Comments about your feelings should be treated like little birds looking for a roosting place and unable to find one because of all the cats waiting. Start growing that thick skin to handle these too.

Since you feel you shouldn’t be looking for a job due to your impending birth….take in ironing, you can do this in your home on your own time. Or type up papers for your former college buddies for a fee. Sell AVON if you really have to earn some bucks. Do housecleaning for other people. Talk to older ladies that ran a household in the Fifties and Sixties…..they can give you some more suggestions on what kind of house jobs they took in to make extra money.