My mil is so annoying with my child! She will text dh during the day saying she will be up and will come at half past 6 when he only gets in from work at quarter past! She will then expect to have my child all evening and complaining if she wants to be fed because shes missing out! Baby has a routine of bath at half past 7 and bed at 8 and she will leave as the baby goes in to bed! While shes here she is very rude, trys to comment on everything and even tells her son to be careful how he holds the baby! My dh also misses out on our daughter as he leaves at half past 6 in the morning and I think everyday is precious! She wont come up at weekends either and is now annoyed because each day she decides to come up I make excuses because Id rather my dh have time with his baby.
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3 Responses to “mil and baby”
OK, (this post feels like I am in the twilight zone or alternate universe talking to myself), it is past time you set up boundaries with your MIL. Get those granny rules on paper (you and your hubby can sit down and make the list to each of yours wants and needs). Shoot that list over to her. Then you DH is going to have to grow a spine and tell mommy not to come over. Leave this woman OUT on the porch when she comes over without your specific invitation. Do not let her upset your daughter’s routine…..if MIL gets upset, TOO BAD, SO SAD, she needs to learn the no word as it is applied to her.
Your house, your child, YOUR RULES!
Louise says it all. A visiting schedul will work wonders — I know it did with me. Give her a schedule for each week, with the dates YOU say she can come, and the timespans as well.
Nobody should be disrupting a baby’s routine to make hag MIL happy. Anyway, once she got her way with that, she would just start pushing for other things too. Give them an inch they will take a mile.
Try to first sit down and talk to her. Let her know that you appreciate her enthusiasm for wanting to spend time with her grandchild, just as both you and dh love to do so as well. Then DH should tell her that the both of you like to have your own personal time together, and also, that your child does have a routine that helps you each day. And that you all set time and a day each week, every other week or once a month. I suggest start out at once a week. If she cannot abide with the boundaries, that you will change her schedule to every other week or once a month. Also, these days are subject to change due to personal committments. When she comes over, plan to utilize that time for some personal me time. Maybe take a nice long bath, or maybe you and your dh can go out to dinner. Set your boundaries, and hold firm. Be sure that DH stresses, that if she cannot do this, that her time with the three of you will be very limited until she can do so.