Mother-in-Law HELL

Where to Begin??
My MIL is in her early 50’s and still acts like she is in her teens. When we first moved into our apartment she asked us if we “did it in every room yet.” She doesn’t work, just spends most of her days online and sending perverted forwards. She has a facebook and myspace account and is constantly commenting on my hubby’s friends’ pages, pics, posts, whatever. When our wedding was coming up she only posted a status that said that she had “a wedding” to attend. A WEDDING?! Your only son is getting married and it’s “a wedding??” So 3 days before the big day and she finally admits that her son is getting married, and all her lil cronies comment on how that was the first they had even heard of it. Exactly. All of her posts are about death and how her life is sooo bad and she doesn’t have any grandkids. We went out to eat a month after we got married and all she talked about the whole time was that the grandkids would love this and that, and she can’t wait ’til Christmas with grandkids, blah blah blah. Finally I got so damn sick of it that I circled my uterine area in the air and told my hubby that this obviously wasn’t mine anymore and that he could just hand over his genitalia to his mother as well.

The wedding itself brought complaints as well. A friend of the family threw me my bridal shower. (God forbid my future MIL step up to the plate or anything. . .In fact she didn’t even RSVP to my bridal shower and neither one of my future SIL’s showed up, or said that they couldn’t make it.) The bridal shower invites didn’t have my name on them, it was a complete oversight, and I was so touched that this kind woman went to all this trouble that it didn’t upset me. Until psycho called and asked me who this shower was for and that everyone was confused. Really. How many people do you know that are getting married?? And maybe you could explain to the 2 people that didn’t piece it together (yourself included) out of the 20 or so that DID. So bridal shower – it was lovely, but she makes comments like “Wow this is so nice, I would’ve just used paper plates, but you used the nice china.” My mom was livid – like I said before this woman didn’t even OFFER to throw me a party.

She thought my invites were plain and told me so. She DID RSVP to the wedding, but only because I lied and told her we were saving the reply cards for a scrap-book. She would NEVER ask about the wedding plans when we would visit, just bemoan and whine about how her parents were gone and how they couldn’t attend. Yes, it’s sad that your parents are gone (for 2 yrs now), but neither one of my parents have any of their parents alive either and they never breathe a word of it!! His mother creates elaborate memory sites on facebook, and get this – in one of her more creative statues she told Michael Jackson to say “hi” to her parents in heaven!! Hubby and I were in stitches for hours about that one.

She tried to talk me out of an open bar at the wedding, and ended up complaining to one of my future SIL’s about the price of it. She was upset that the dancing took place at the wedding in a connecting room, not the dining area. I guess that would involve her putting her complaints on hold and walking a few feet to watch us and the other guests. The air didn’t work in the limo that my parents sprung for, so she whined about that to the owner of the reception hall. I over-heard her and interjected with “Well, I’M not complaining because I didn’t pay for it.” (It was a gorgeous spring day – windows down were fine.) She also hit on a family friend’s husband in the receiving line – the same lady that threw me the shower!!

Like I said before, her parents died a few years ago and left her and my FIL (whom I adore, thank God!!) a tidy sum. Each one of the 3 kids only got $200 and my in-laws are house-shopping WAYYYY above their means. (She gives new meaning to keeping up with the Joneses.) So all of these money complaints just blow my mind. A couple of weeks after the wedding she asked me what I wanted for our wedding present and I explained that I would really like the pots and pans that we registered for. She complained that they were a bit tight on money, but would see what they could do. She got us the set that was a bit less than the ones that we registered for, but I was still grateful. Until 2 days later when she posted on facebook that she got herself a new laptop.

Recently she has decided that I hate her because I never call her. I responded that we are newlyweds still, and she says that we’ve lived together for over a year already. She never calls us unless it’s to nag us about something.

In retrospect, she can sometimes be an okay lady, but I just can’t stand all the DRAMA!!

I am very grateful that I have a husband that stands up to his mother, and that I have found a place like this to VENT!!! ;-P