Mother-in-Law HELL

My wife and I are writing this as a team concerning her mother, we both have been beet up by her as boy/gfriend, fiancee’s, husband and wife and now as parents. We’ll try to condence this as best we can, but you need to hear alot of it in order to grasp it at all. We’ve been together for 11 years and married for 6 and it all starts at the beginning. It started out as her mom not liking me because I did not come over enough 11 years ago when my now wife was 18 years old and living at home going to college, apparently the relationship we had was something to her that it wasnt to us ie spending afternoons with the parents when your 18. We just kept on truckin despite her bullshit which then turned into her telling my the gfriend that she saw me going into another apartment at my building,(disturbing to say the least.) Fast forward to 2 months before our wedding and her mom tells her that she doesnt know if she should marry me. I went to her house the day before our wedding and told her not to worry and that I will take care of her daughter she cried and hugged and everything is great. My wife has one brother and the differance between the way the two of them are treated is sickening to say the very least. When we were planning the wedding they didnt want to pay for half of the meal with my parents because they didnt hardly invite anyone and they bitched about kids being invited. They said they werent paying for any alcohol even though they and all of their friends and family drank on my parents all night. My wife’s brother had just finished college to the tune of $40,000 all of which paid by mom and dad, and their bitching about a thousand dollars, and I assure you that money wasnt the issue also my wifes education was a whopping $3000. Since then all of our holidays have spent listening to her telll us at length what her son is up to and I mean it when I say all of them. We live in the same town so there was plenty of updates in between. We thought perhaps it would all get better when we had kids. When our son was born 3 yrs ago they came to the hospital and we could just tell something wasnt right with her, she didnt cry, take pics, shes a major drama queen so it was all noticeable. Two weeks later my wife’s brother comes home to see our son and guess who starts crying and taking pictures when their son holds their DAUGHTERS first born baby, hell ya mom does. Oh and by the way it was later revealed that she was upset that my wife had to have a c-section and not a natural birth, she also said it was due to my big head. Our son was about a month old when her mother then went out and bought her own outfit for our son and wanted to get her own pictures taken. The same outfit her son is pictured in years ago in their home, so yea our son isnt our to her he is a reincarnation of hers. We have spent the last 3 years dealing with a grandmother who gets pissed at us whenever we put our son down for a nap, discipline him, or if she didnt see him once a week. My wife spent an entire year telling her that she wasnt getting her own pics taken, she brought it up every time they were over for about a year. I will end with our last three christmas’s. The first christmas with our son she got him the same gift that my mother did and when we told her that my mom had also gotten it she got about the same color as this web page and was pissed at my mom and said that she had bought it in october which I guess means that she won or some shit. She would not give us her gift receipt and my mother had to bring her’s over, she live 35miles away and we were right in my mil’s house. The second christmas wasnt too bad because we werent speaking to her on account of all of the above shit. After that we had her over to our home and argued with her for 4 hrs and got absolutely nowhere when I finally just said that we need to forget about all of this shit and move on, go back to start, she of course cried and hugged me like she did before our wedding. The last year was really good and then at christmas this year our son was opening gifts, then it came time for our son to open my brother in law’s gift, we opened it but it was lego’s and there was already shit scattered all over the floor so my father in law said maybe we should open that when we get home, my wife and thought that was a good idea than my mother in law says in a tone we had not heard in about a year,”maybe he wants to see him play with it.” He being my brother in law. So we opened it, but she just couldnt get over the fact that we implied that perhaps we wouldnt. Just so you all understand, the fucking gift was open, it just didnt get dumped all over the floor, she was mad because her 28 year old son wasnt gonna get to see the joy of him playing with it, thats a quote by the way. So she is all pissed and my wife, who by the way is 4 months pregnant at the time, called her out at which time my mother in law proceeds to go on a 45 minute tongue lashing of her own daughter, my wife was balling and this monster would not stop, her pregnant daughter is balling her head off and she just keeps on going bring up the whole 11 years that was supposed to be water over the bridge, all of this right in front of 3 year old. So we are getting our jackets on and im loading the car up. My wife is crying and our son asked her what was wrong and she just said that mommy is sad then her mother said, It’s all grandma’s fault just like it always is.” Who talks shit to 3 yr old? especially when they just asked their mother what was wrong. So we got home put our son to sleep and he woke crying and shaking, he wouldnt stop and my wife asked him if he was upset about what happened at grandma’s and he said yes. What a shitty feeling as parent when you put a child in a situation that scares them. We have cut off all contact since then, my wife told her father that until she gets help and medication she will never see us again. Her dad comes over to see us once a month and we know he hasnt told her what my wife said because he knows she wont get help and is afraid to even bring it up. Her brother just says thats the way she is, but I feel that attitude has created this monster. We have decided together that we only have the next 20 years to raise these kids and we are not going to spend it constantly dealing with her madness. We have had 4 talks with her in 11 years about this and we feel its time to move on. please give us your thoughts