Mother-in-Law HELL

My new guilty pleasure on Sunday nights is watching the hit reality TV show, My Antonio.  Like other shows that have come before this one, women are trying to win the love and affection of one man. This man happens to be Antonio Sabato Jr. Of course, there are lots of cat fights over just about everything which is expected. However, this show added two HUGE sources of tension to the love shack.  First, Antonio has brought along his mother to help him weed out the “wrong” girls.  I bet if these women knew that Mamma Sabato was going to be in the house, they wouldn’t have practically killed themselves running up that hill for him in the opening show.  They would have found the first raft and paddled back to the mainland.  The second cause for concern for the ladies was the introduction of Tully Jensen who is Antonio’s ex-wife and very apparent first true love. Based on the interactions between Tully and Antonio, these ladies should be nervous.

The eyes never lie.

This is what brings me to Tully and Antonio’s mom, Yvonne. It is clear to see that Yvonne is not pleased whatsoever that Tully is trying to be a part of Antonio’s life again. Although I don’t know all sides of the story or why they split, I had my own ex mother-in-law hell flashbacks when watching these two re-connect.  Rather than create my own version of the story,  I went directly to the source.

As always–real people real stories— My Interview with Tully Jensen

Patricia (Motherinlawhell.com) - Tully, how was the relationship between you and Yvonne when you were married to Antonio? Did she have an issue with him getting married at such a young age?

Tully Jensen (My Antonio)- Antonio and I met when he was 17 years old.  We lived with his parents for a couple months after we were married. When his parents found out we got married, they were not happy. It’s not that they were unhappy for us. It was more that his career was taking off and being married could ruin him. So we kept it hidden.

Patricia (Motherinlawhell.com) Would you say that Antonio was Team Tully or Team Yvonne when issues would arise?

Tully Jensen (My Antonio)- Antonio was definitely Team Tully unless we were both in the same room and she was putting pressure on him.  Antonio was very young and Yvonne is a very strong woman so it was not easy for him. He was torn between respecting his mom and being a husband.  At 20 years old, he did not really have the tools to handle it.  He does now.

Patricia (Motherinlawhell.com)- I know you have not been around Antonio’s mother in almost 20 years, but can you share a mother-in-law hell moment between you and Yvonne? The DILS know that stinging moments between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are engrained in our minds for a lifetime!

Tully Jensen (My Antonio)- There are a few moments that come to mind. LOL. I would say that the thing that really bothered me was when Antonio’s mother would speak to him in Italian in front of me. I knew she was speaking about me and that was very difficult. It was a separating tool, and it would drive me crazy. One defining moment was when he was told to get his head on straight like saying, “We are your family and she is just your wife.”   

 Patricia (Motherinlawhell.com) – What was it like being around Antonio’s mother again on the show?

 

Tully Jensen (My Antonio)- We really did not spend time together on the show outside of events that placed us together i.e. the Lei ceremonies and the challenges.  I was in the house with the other girls, and we were under lock, key, and guard all the time.  It was tough at times. I felt like no matter what I did or said, her mind was set. I just kept trying to put myself in her shoes and give her respect and the benefit of doubt.

 

Patricia (Motherinlawhell.com)- I was married at 21 as and looking back, I know I could have handled some things differently with my then mother-in-law. Do you feel that things would be different this time around with her? If so, why?

 

Tully Jensen- Definitely! 1) I have grown up and am now a mother myself to an 8 year old son.  I have mellowed out and am not so reactive.  2) Antonio has become a mature ,wonderful, loving man and father.  His focus is his children, his work, his family and his ex’s who are the mothers’ of his children (and I am pretty confident in that order). He has learned to balance and juggle it all.  3) Yvonne is happily remarried and has a whole new world to concentrate on.

 

Patricia (Motherinlawhell.com) – So a little off topic here but the DILS would like to know, who used to take longer to get ready? You or Antonio?

 

Tully Jensen (My Antonio)- Neither of us:-) If we were going to an event then I took longer for sure !  Antonio is pretty relaxed.  He wears sweats at the gym and board shorts at the beach. We are both beach rats and neither of us are focused on primping unless we HAVE to. We would pretty much just grab what we needed and head out the door! Truthfully, we would rather stay home then go to an event, and we liked to hang out in our neighborhood to eat, see movies, etc.

Patricia (Motherinlawhell.com) – Final thoughts Tully?

Tully Jensen- Yes I do! There would not be a website like motherinlawhell.com if there was not a large number of mothers-in-law like this. Unfortunately, what it comes down to is that we as mothers HAVE to break the chain. If the mother has not broken the chain then it is up to the man to step up and break the chain. He has to gently (but firmly) let his mother know that he still loves her and respects her but that he is now a MAN and has a wife to tend and care for. His mom needs to get her tending from HER HUSBAND.  And the son HAS to be consistent about it. It does not mean that he does not go and see her, doe not listen to her, does not love her. It simply means that he has to focus on his own life, his own wife, and she needs to give him the respect to back off.  That does NOT give the wife license to abuse the mother in law of course. Too many men in this generation have no idea HOW to handle the situation and they teeter helplessly on the fence not committing either direction which only makes the wife angry. Then the mother feels she has a chance of ousting the wife and getting her son’s full love and attention back.  I know of women who are now mothers themselves and who complain and whine about how AWFUL their mother-in-law was to them. Then they do the EXACT same thing!! It is almost like a form of abuse.  They carry it forward.

 

Patricia (Motherinlawhell.com) – That’s it Tully! The DILS are rooting for you. IF you should win his heart back and not his mother’s, know that we are always here for you to let off some stream.

 

Tully Jensen (My Antonio) – I am sure that day will come. LOL.

 

 

Make sure to tune in to watch Tully Jensen on VH1’s hit reality Tv show My Antonio! It airs Sunday nights at 10:30PMEST.