Okay, so I just found this site—, thank god! I will try to keep this short. My mil is driving me nuts. My husband and I moved across the country last summer, we are heading back to our home state and his home town for a wedding this summer. He happens to be working professionally on the other side of the country for 7 weeks (pretty much all of June and July), and so we thought we would extend our trip and make a vacation out of it. We could see friends and hang out and have a nice little week of vacation. So, we told our in-laws just as heads-up that we were going to be doing this (not thinking we had to specify we wanted this week together since we were going to be apart all summer). My MIL called today to tell me excitedly that they are taking off to so they could have the week off with us. She made all of these dinner reservations, got play tickets, and have officially planned a family reunion. Am I blowing it out of proportion that our nice little vacation and really only true summer time to spend together is now turning into a week of vacation with my in-laws? Keep in mind we went on a trip to Disney World a few years ago when we were dating, and they decided to come (seriously no invite) and even got adjoining rooms with us.
What do I do??? My husband feels like if we tell them that they are not invited they are going to be really hurt. I actually really like my in-laws, it is just that they really have no boundaries and think we want to spend all of our time with them which is normally a non-issue since we live halfway across the country.
Thanks for your help!!
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Advice
6 Responses to “Inlaws inviting themselves on our vacation”
Tell them it is a “second honeymoon”. Let them know you BOTH want time with them at a later date…just not now. So sorry, but you need the alone time.
Oh, one more thing….stop your flow of information to your in-laws. They really don’t need to be on the loop for EVERYTHING!
Now I normally don’t say this, maybe it’s the phase of the moon or something but what if you plan something with them later on?
Mention the fact that because you will be apart all summer, you really want to spend time together with friends but that you will be happy to plan something with them later on in the year. Maybe Thanksgiving week or Christmas. I’m sure they miss your husband and if you get on as well as you say most likely you too.
I feel your plight. Hubby and I moved away from our home state over a year ago. Although its been an adjustment to our new surroundings, all I have to do is remind myself I dont have to see the in-laws on a regular basis. =) BUT moving away has created a new problem. When we do go home, the in-laws take over! My husband has a large family and if they get a wiff we are going to be in town, they act like Im an orphan and have no family myself. Our weekend is planned out before we even arrive. So it took us a few trips to realize that we will only tell the in-laws we are coming when we are ready for them. I would tell your in-laws that you have made some plans already. But you are available on this or that day(s).
If you can’t get out of it, or can’t get hubby to back down and tell them NO (which is his place to do), then tell him you want a separate trip with him and don’t tell the inlaws about that one.
Explain to your inlaws and apologise for not being specific enough…tell tehm you are seeing some friends that you don’t see much on this trip but you woud be happy to catch up with them on a later trip.Offer to pay for the tickets for the play or send something to compensate for the money they spent.If you like your inlaws,you are one lucky girl on this forum.Keep the momentum going and sincerely apologise but bow out of their offer.
You definitly need to tell your inlaws that in the future you vow to be more specific about the plans as not to disappoint them next time.
Sidebar: Next time do not tell them ANYTHING!!!!!Cut them out of the loop.I mean really…they got adjoining rooms??? That is a little TMI if you know what I mean.