I’m not a baby making machine thank you very much!
by 060708st on 07/30 @ 10:07pmI have been married to my husband for a little over a year now, and I am becoming increasingly frustrated with my MIL. Ever since we were engaged she constantly talked about how she wants grand babies, and how she is going to take care of them…blah blah blah. It seems like every time I see or hear from her (which is at least a few times a week) she says something about grand kids. I have told her numerous times I don’t want to have children from several more years, and she seems to become deaf. She gives me guilt trips about it as well, and recently said something in front of a large group of people about wanting grand kids. Her words were, ” Chop Chop you need to get on it!” She tries to be all cute about it too, and look innocent. I usually just say, ” Well that won’t happen for a few more years”, and look the other way before I throw something at her.
She also tells me that once the babies do come that they are going to be her number one priority over everyone and everything!!! Hello women…you already had your time being a mother…give me my chance! She also feels entitled to tell me that my kids won’t be going to preschool b/c she will be watching them everyday while I am working. She is very good at trying to manipulate me, and trying to take advantage. When I stand up to her she gets all defensive, and cuts me off. Yet I am expected to listen to all the crap coming out of her mouth, and can never get a word in.
Another thing that worries me is that she is going to spoil the heck out of my kids. My husband is her only child, and she will bend over backwards to do things for him. He is in his late 20’s, and she still caters to his every need. It drives me nuts!!! She also has been planning her life around grand babies. She and her husband moved into a new house, and she claims she built it with the future babies in mind.
Last but not least it really frustrates me b/c she does not seem to support me going to school to finish my degree. (Because she wants grand kids as soon as possible!) I have about two years left, and she is constantly asking me to change my degree just to I can graduate sooner, and have kids. Yes…please let me major in something I have no interest/passion in so I can get knocked up, and fill whatever void it is you have.
Anyways…I just need some advice on how to get her to stop talking about me having babies. I have tried telling her no, telling her when we plan on it, and just plain ignoring her. Nothing seems to work! I am tired of feeling like nothing but a baby making machine…and not a human being!
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Advice
6 Responses to “I’m not a baby making machine thank you very much!”
What do you think MIL had in mind when you got married? You are not a person – You are a womb. And so far, you are not serving your purpose.
If and when you plan to have children is none of her beeswax, so cut off the information (like telling her when you plan on it.) When she asks you when you’ll be getting pregnant, tell her calmly and coolly, “That is not for you to know/not your business.” Never lose your temper – The angrier she gets, the more pleasant you become.
Have you instituted any contact policies surrounding this frustrated midwife? If not, do so now. And when the babies do come, never let her alone with them. You’ve heard the horror stories (granny breastfeeding grandchildren, anyone?), and the SEEDS ARE THERE with this nutjob. Set the limits STAT.
Hon, her ears are stuffed full. No matter what you say, or how reasonable you are, she isn’t going to hear it. You are going to have to stop any and all answers about children on your part. Give her the blank stare and walk away mid-rant. Tune your selective hearing to the “white noise” stage when she starts. Give her absolutely NO FEEDBACK on anything to do with “grandbabies”. Since she won’t listen to you, return the favor….and walk out on her.
I’m in a simliar situation.
She pretty much shut up when I asked why she hadn’t had any other children.
Yawn and walk away when she starts talking about kids. Look at your fingernails, stare at your shoes, avra kedavra her in your mind…I’ve also seen that staring at the ceiling does the job nicely.
Best of luck-
Portia
My crazy MIL actually bought a new minivan a week after my brother-in-law was married and told him it was for all the grandkids he was going to give them! He later divorced, with NO grandbabies for them. How sad!
Actually, there is a comment back to this old bag. Go get a stack of T-shirts printed up that say: “Ask me about my Grand Dog.” You know, how some folks look at their animals (kids’ animals) as their “babies.” and tell the bat that you hope she has tons of Grand Dogs. And if she keeps pestering you GIVE HER A DOG and tell her that each time she asks you about grandbabies you are going to assume she MEANS another Grand Dog and that you’ll get another to her as soon as possible. That will shut the old biddy right up.
Or, give the old cow a blow up doll each time she asks and say, “Here’s something to fill the space until the grandbabies come.
It should go without saying that you’ll have to set ground rules and allow no unsupervised visits for this troll should you have children. These rules should include what you consider appropriate regarding any sort of gifts for the child. My MIL and FIL are nutters and tried to “spoil” my kids with totally inappropriate crap. I’ve given some of it right on back to them and sold some of it on eBay. There are always alternatives to accepting “spoiling.” Good luck!
Tough love coming!
Ok let’s just STOP right here.
You are worried about non existant children and your MIL spoiling them! For Cripes sake, this woman has not only taken up space in your head she’s made herself RIGHT at home! KNOCK IT OFF!
YOU control this situation, not her! As she continues to say you need to have children, answer by raising your voice a little more each time and saying she must be going deaf or getting Alzhiemers because you’ve already told her this. Take her hand and pat it, smile and say “REMEMBER (insert name) I TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS. DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? DO YOU REMEMEBR ME?) What I’m saying is emabarrass the F**K outta her! It will show her you aren’t going to take her crap any more and will shut her up!
When you do decide to bring your children into this world. Get you parenting plan in place with hubby immediately. NO unsupervised visits at her home, No “surprise” Nana visits (she will do this I promise you) at your hpme and no weekend sleep overs.
I agree with DDiL. When she asks for a grandbaby, periodically give her a kitten to shred her lovely furniture or a puppy to piss all over the place. Baby dolls work too and are cheaper.
Like I said to another poster on his site,tell the old b*tch that you need money from her so you and hubby can get into the mood for love like expensive dinners out,tickets to the theatre,opera,orchestra,etc…etc…
OR tell her you need money for the invitro fertilization an pretend to get some (actually use the money for college)
OR tell her you need money to go through with the adoption proceedings for South American (0r Russian,or wherever location,just make it totally ridiculous)l Octuplets that you want to adopt and make into citizens.
Whatever you do,keep bumming money and she will avoid you like the plague.
You can also have a heart to heart with her and tell her you would be happy to breed even faster for her if she offers up her uterus to house the kids in and becomes a surrogate for you,gives birth to them and keeps them for the first five years until they go to school and pays all of their expenses.
Take that nasty MIL’s !!!!!!!!!