Mother-in-Law HELL

My partner and I live in a different country than my partner’s parents. There is a damn good reason for this – they’re completely bonkers.

Now, the in-laws used to work for an airline, so they fly out at least once a year. In the past, this hasn’t caused too much drama – they usually stayed with other relatives in town, as we’ve always lived in flats that didn’t have enough room for guests. We’d just see them a couple of times, maybe go out for dinner or what have you. Well, we have since moved into a house with my partner’s little sister, so we decided that we had enough room for my mother-in-law to stay at our place.

She arrived a week from Saturday. That was fine. Since that Monday was a public holiday, we had a lovely long weekend, going around and doing stuff. But on the week, we had been assured by my mother-in-law that she was self sufficient and didn’t need us to entertain us. We cautioned her that during the week, we tended to just play video games or watch TV and then go to sleep. She didn’t have a problem with that. We told her that we already had plans to see a concert on that Wednesday. That, too, was fine.

Or so we thought.

Then the next weekend (aka last weekend) came and things went severely south. My sister-in-law reneged on her plans with her mother, then came down with a severe case of the gastrointestinal yuck. This meant that our plans to go out for my partner’s birthday (yes, that’s right, it was her birthday Sunday) were scuttled for later in the week. Also, on Saturday, I made dinner for the whole family (and my sister-in-law’s boyfriend, who was visiting) and she turned her nose up at it and had leftover Chinese food instead, making me think that she didn’t want to have anything to do with my cooking. So on Sunday night, when we made dinner we didn’t think to offer her any. (That was most certainly a mistake that I own up to, but it doesn’t excuse what came next.)

So she comes out swinging, saying that we don’t pay enough attention to her. My partner and her sister end up in a shouting match with their mom with me and li’l sis’s poor boyfriend (who has only been dating her for a month right now… I hope he doesn’t bolt, he’s a catch!) listening to the TV as loud as it would go! Apparently she felt neglected and wanted us to do things with her… even when she said she didn’t need us to. Seems we’re meant to be mind readers? Oh, and the whole while she kept saying “Well, it doesn’t matter, you don’t need to do anything, but…”

She threatened to leave tonight (Monday night), but then decided that she’ll stay til Thursday, when she’s supposed to leave. (Since she flies standby as a retired employee, she can leave whenever there are seats available.) Of course, then this morning, she started yelling at li’l sis and her boyfriend and declared that no, she would leave today after all. Allegedly she’s changed her mind again, but who knows if she’ll be there when I get home from work this evening? -_- (Although personally, I think it’s just emotional blackmail to make us try to convince her to stay.)

This woman is the queen of guilt trips, so if she does stay, I can’t imagine it will be terribly pleasant for any of us. Anything we do to try and make her feel included will be brushed off as us doing it because we’re “supposed to,” I’m sure. If that happens, I have half a mind to just show her the door.

She always hides behind her Chinese heritage, saying “it’s my culture.” I’m sorry, but if you’ve been living in the West and with a Western husband since you were a teenager, I don’t think you can pull that card anymore. Besides, what of our culture? Why do we always have to go all the way to her if she’s not willing to meet us halfway?

Argh. That feels a bit better. Here’s hoping I can survive until Thursday (or until she stomps out of my house like a stroppy two-year-old).