The hag is so manipulative and my kids love her. I can’t stand her!! It is imposible to set boundaries with her because she tries to create trouble for me. Once I asked her to please not smoke around my 6 month old son she created more trouble for me that I could stand. A few days later she invited my husband and I to celebrate my FIL b day and she sat us in the smoking section and her daughter, SIL and grandpa (FIL) lit up their cigarretes at the same time in my face . She constantly tries to manipulate my husband and let’s him know what a bad mother I am, and that I am a bad cook. I am mad at my husband because he says he believes her and it’s totally unsupportive about the whole situation. I signed us my for marriage couseling. My kids are constantly going over her condo and of course they have to spend the night every weekend and I better not stop her because she tries to keep my kids longer overnight to try to take the away from me or she will stalk me or harras me over the phone. One time I went to her house over the weekend to get my kids since I work full time and that is the only time I get to be with them all day and she raised hell and told me that I could not get my kids when ever I wanted tried to kick me out. Later I found out that she told everyone that I went over to her house and I almost beat her up, she is a lying bat. She said that so she could look good and everyone could feel sorry for hershe does this quite often. I am so sick of her!
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Her name is Patricia. By day, she is Mrs. Corporate America, by night, she is an “Ann Landers” of sorts. Patricia is the founder of the wildly-popular website, Mother in Law Hell.
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5 Responses to “MEET “SWEET GRANNY””
OH MY! Time to kick butt and take names! Start pulling up your battle panties and put your foot down….be a parent. Tell the kids they are no longer going to be spending the weekends over at granny’s. Get some activities lined up to take them to do.
Tell your insensitive clod of a husband the new rules and if he can’t or won’t support you …. maybe he would like to “chat” with your new lawyer friend. As for your “sweet” MIL, change your phone number, get caller id and when she refuses to let you pick YOUR kids up….tell her you are going to call the police and report HER for kidnapping.
You are going to have to endure alot of crap in retraining this godzilla…grow a thick skin and get on with it. Get your list of new “GRANNY RULES” written up and shoot them over to her with the consequences for failure on her part to follow the new rules.
Good Luck.
Wow. My MIL could be just like yours — if I let her. You’ve got to take control back. You’ve been the doormat for too long. Now she, the entitled old bat, expects to get her manipulative way.
You never should have agreed to unsupervised visits with your kids in the first place, even as infants..Sure it is hard — and uncomfortable to begin with — to plant your butt down and watch her like a hawk with your kids, but it keeps the old hag from taking over and telling them lies — or breaking all your rules when she has the kids (so OF COURSE they LOVE to go over and visit). That is exactly what my evil old witch of a MIL would do given half a chance — which she does not get.
Thank goodness you are now in counseling with your husband. Be prepared with concrete examples of why this old biddy is a huge issue so the counselor can help your dolt of a husband see the light.
Remember, YOU have the power to give her control, and to TAKE IT AWAY. Grow some thick skin, pull on a double layer of those big girl panties and prepare yourself for the uphill , constant battle of butt kicking. It works, but it will NOT be an easy road.
Oh, and as far as it goes with MIL attempting tosmoke around you or your children, YOU are the one who controls that. Get your butt out of your chair and head for the exit. If she, or anyone else, tries to light up in your home, escort them to the door. It your husband disagrees, take him to see your child’s doctor so he/she can thump your dolt of a husband on the head. Sounds like he is in need of an attitude adjustment and some education about the dangers of second-hand smoke..
Stalk or harrass yoiu on the phone? You know who can stop this? YOU CAN. Don’t answer the phone
If hubby continues to believe her, make sure he knows that a lawyer will be glad to set up visitation for him once every two weeks. And speaking of lawyers, make sure you let hubby know that visitation with grandma willbe STRICTLY prohibited unless you are there and only for an hour at a time. A lovely lunch or maybe a public park. Somewhere were she can’t corner you.
If she EVER tries to keep your kids by telling you she will call the cops, step out the door, call them yourself and tell them all you are trying to do is pick up your children.
The other posters have it right, time to kick some granny ass.
I have to agree with this advice, but I’ll just add that we know this won’t be easy. It’s going to be painful, hurtful, full of strife and anguish, full of arguments, the kids will cry, the husband will rant and you will be right in the center of the maelstrom wondering if it’s worth it.
If you start to feel that way, try to remember that it doesn’t matter how you got there (for this part), it doesn’t matter how much craziness will develop… You Are Right. You Must do this or the rest of your life has the chance of being a living hell. She’s programming your children, she’s programming your husband, and in a way, she’s programming you. The more time she gets to do it, the more successfull she will be. The others are right, you can’t allow it. If you do, your life is not your own and you are abandoning your children to any fate your MiL chooses.
So everytime someone cries or yells or threatens… keep up with the advice you’ve been given and chant to yourself I Am Right and keep plowing. Life never sat down all nice and cozy and said “Don’t worry, everything is nice and fair.” Life doesn’t say anything at all about fair, so this will hurt, but you can do it and it will be easier over time.