Mother-in-Law HELL

PookieWookie said on 28/05/09 @ 6:57pm

Being a mother herself she should realize how difficult it would be for any mother to give their child up to someone else to raise. Where she got the nerve to insist that you do that is beyond crazy. Let her know that your daughter and future- kids that you may have are/will be your pride and joy and that your role as their mother is very important to you therefore you will not “give” her any kids to raise herself. If she comes at you and says ” Well I think you’re a terrible mother thats why I should raise your kids” then please know that you are not and that the problem is and always has been the MIL because it would only show how immature she is from trying to compete with you at who’s a better mom. It’s not about being a perfect mom, its about loving the child and giving them what they need- which can also be provided by a grandmother.

Disrespectful Daughter-in-Law said on 28/05/09 @ 10:46pm

When she says you should “give” her your second baby to rasie, you just laugh and say, “Oh, thanks for volunteering, but that won’t be necessary.” Repeat it as often as she asks to show you are NOT even taking her seriously. This is so ridiculous it is not even worth entertaining or arguing about.

Regarding your daughter and the lovely MIL trying to dicipline her YOU are the one to stop that. The next time this happens you immediately insert yourself into the situation and say, “Thank you for your concern, I will handle it from here,” and stare her down until she backs off. If she does not comply with your wishes, then she does not get to see the grandchild, plain and simple. The same thing goes with the sleeping arrangements. “Thank you for your concern, but (insert name) has her OWN bed and will be sleeping there.”

It sounds like this nutter needs a set of house rules to follow. Sit down with your husband, write them together and see that he delivers them to her with the EXPECTATION that they will be followed…or elsel

And based on her unpredictable nature, NO unsupervised visits with your current child (or any future children) are to be allowed. You don’t want to be stuck undoing the horrid damage she is sure to inflict. Good luck!

sage said on 29/05/09 @ 7:43am

What did your husband say about her saying you should let her raise your next child? I would start to slowly cut her out of your life, she’s mental.

Bride to Be said on 02/06/09 @ 3:45pm

Laugh….Laugh your GD ass off. Then just look at her and say..”OMG You’re serious?!”

Make her look like a crazy woman and make sure you tell hubby in worried tones how you never want the baby to have any alone time with her.

leefan said on 13/06/09 @ 10:13pm

Talk to her one on one..being straight forward in a nice way is always the best way. Tell her the truth of how you feel and talk about how she feels and why she is doing this. Knowing her reasons and her knowing your reasons will be good for all of you. That is how I did it with my MIL..after 4 years of hell, I finally grabbed her hand and told her the truth and now we realized that it was a big misunderstanding and we are more open than ever.

sherry said on 29/06/09 @ 10:37pm

I think the reason why your mother-in-law has the crazy nerve to ask to raise your baby is because she believes that if it wasn’t for her, there wouldn’t be your husband and your baby. My MIL invited herself and my FIL to my home twice a week to occupy my 5-month-old girl. She and I have a long history since the begining of my marriage. She would throw out insensitive and arrogant comments periodically. They range from critisizing me for choosing to become a house wife to commenting that I don’t have enough friends. Even though I am comfortable in my own skin, she would always try to put me down. She also treats my parents without respect. She is a chatter box, and she would go on and on and on until you want to kick her face. Before we had a baby, she always told us that she is not going to help us take care of the baby. But, after the baby is here, she tries to tell me how to raise a baby, even though she never raised her children on her own. All of the sudden, she became a child expert. She tends to throw me uninvited suggestions and criticism without realizing that she has never act on them. She treats her husband the same way. She orders him around, and he lets her. When my husband told her not to be a chatter box, she always says that she cannot change the way she is. When I just had a baby, exhausted, I asked her to eat her lunch before comming to my house to see the baby, she got maaaaad and she said that she will never come to see the baby again. oh, by the way, she always comes here to eat lunch and stays for many many hours before she drags her ass out of here. i have no privacy At All. My father-in-law would use my personal computer without asking me while the desktop background is my naked pregnant picture. Worse yet, he stares at my boobs all the time. My MIL prohibited my baby from eating her fingers while she is at oral stage. I saw my baby struggling for something to suck on when my stupid MIL grabs her little hands. I hate her!!

Jayn said on 22/08/09 @ 2:42pm

What is with these MIL’s? They need to realize that motherhood has evolved , and that we are more informed to what is good for the baby. One thing that is for sure is that a baby needs it’s mother NOT Grandmother to raise it. My MIL is passive aggressive and I have to be quick with responses when she takes verbal jabs at me, my husband and even my 3 yr old son. Self esteem of a child is so fragile. I will speak for my child until he can speak for himself in defense. It seems these old women are stuck in a time warp and think they are still raising children. Come back to reality!!

Demon Daughter In Law said on 21/08/10 @ 2:21am

I agree with my hubby–restraining order–now.