Future Mother in law ruining wedding plans
by luckyone on 03/20 @ 6:32pmMy future mother-in-law is too controlling. My Wedding is October 15, 2009. And Dont get me wrong, as much as i am excited about my big day.. I cant take my future mother n law. Every plan that we have made so far she has crumbled to pieces cause she doesnt like it. I was perfectly fine having it small and affordable.. but now she has offered to pay $7000 for a banquet hall (cause she thought the place we chose looked dingy), which of course we took her up on her offer. Now she is saying that she doesnt like the invitations we picked out cause they are from online and we need to go to a store to get them (which helloooo stores order them online as well..they just charge 3 times more). She makes little comments that just make me so mad. She wants this wedding to be perfect.. i get that. but so do i. and having her make all the plans is ruining it for me and upsetting my mom. my mom really wants to help out with the wedding but is limited to what she can do due to money. which i fully understand. But now my mom thinks she has little to no part in it which i tell her is not true. she has everything to do with it. i just dont know what to do. i want to be the nice daughter n law..but also im going to snap soon..esp when she talks about his ex girlfriend that i knew and disliked… i hate it when she does that.. it makes me feel like im not good enough for him like she was..does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this problem.. im not the type of person to just be mean or have an attitude.. i usually hold all my problems in and just let them go.. but this is getting to be to much.. i just want to tell her to plan the wedding herself and let me know when to write a check.. but i hate that i feel that way.. and advice would be great! thanks ladies!!
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7 Responses to “Future Mother in law ruining wedding plans”
You made a major blunder in accepting her money in the first place…. now the woman thinks you are hers mind, body and soul. If there is anyway to go back to your original plans, you may want to go that route. If you can’t change the hall, keep your resolve on the other issues that come up and do them your way. You don’t have to have an attitude when you do this…you just need to stick to your guns and say the NO word as much as you need to.
Mistake number one: accepting ANY money from this witch. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? In her twisted mind, this gives her full control over your entire wedding. If possible, RETURN that money and move forward with the wedding as you please. If she keeps intruding, remind her that it is YOUR wedding and that HER job is to SHOW UP.
Regarding the ex. Stop being so immature and “hating” the ex. It is a total waste of your time. Do you want her to know how she can push your buttons? STOP IT. He is with YOU, isn’t he? Besides, there is a perfect response to this subject. Every time the MIL brings up the ex, you smile sweetly and say, “Oh yes, I am SO GLAD he got a chance to date several people, especially (insert name or names) because now he knows exactly what he wants, and does not want, in a wife. That will shut that old troll up.
Thanks everyone!! I didnt want to “BIG GLAMEROUS” wedding. Trust me, If i could i wouldve totally just stayed with what we wanted. But since she already put a non-returnable payment on it, its a little late to take it back. And your right, i feel like from now on me and my fiance will owe her. she doesnt want us to pay her back, but i just have the feeling that one day we wont do something that she wants us to do and she will bring up “well i payed so much for you to have a perfect wedding?!” Hopefully it wont come to that. And ive started to stick with our choices, its hard though cause i dont like to be the bad person…
Thank you so much everyone…:)
Good Luck!
Don’t ever think of yourself as “the bad person.” You are dealing with an unreasonable monster. If anything, you are the victim here, she just will try to make you into the “bad person.” Don’t fall for it! At least you have a secret website to visit for advice.
I’ve dealt with a troll of a MIL for many years now. They get worse after the wedding, and become impossible once you have a child. So be prepared to deal with her antics. Pick your battles and stick to your guns. “NO” will become the most important word in your vocabulary. Good luck!
I’m in the same boat!! E mail me any time!! My wedding is this year also, same money issue…oy. Are we marrying borthers?@@
If you are smart,you will forgo the wedding and just run off and elope.Let her lose the deposit on the banquet hall that she put down all together.Or if you feel like being partially nice elope anyway right now and don’t tell her until later,and then tell her you would like her to do all of the planning and paying for the reception (on your original wedding date at the locale she picked).I wouldn’t trust her though because I would bet money that she has plans to F up your day.I would not be suprised if she invites the ex-girlfriend to your wedding because after all she paid for the rental of the reception site.You get the picture now???It was a gift with a trap/trick attached.You would be muych better off cancelling anything that she pays for because it comes with strings attached.
My mother-in-law loved me when i first met her son. Soon she became jealous and started talking to his EX-wife, now she doesnt talk to me or her OWN son. Is there anything i can do? Now my husband and i constantly fight about his mother. I no longer have respect for her, and have a hard time expressing that to my husband. I cant help the way I feel. My husband can not stand to hear any negative things about his mom, but i cant help it. There is sssoo much negative history. If anyone has a solution I could deal with please, let me know. HHEELLPP!!!!