My fiancee’s mother will not acknowledge me. I am never invited to family events and he always goes without me. He has never been married, paid off her house and is basically her handyman. She has never worked a day in her life and criticizes me for my job (pr) and having children. If I appear in the media she always has a negative comment. She does not even know me. We have not spoken for more than 20 minutes ever. When my fiance tried to get her to go to lunch with me she said no because she needed time to get used to me. The last time we tried to go to lunch was 8 months ago. I do not live with my fiance nor do I require his financial assistance. I have raised all my children on my own without any assistance. I pay my own bills and have my own career. I invite him to all my functions and family events. When it is for his family, I never hold him back, even though I cannot attend. Did I mention that he owns the property they both reside on and I have never been invited there either? She depends on him to fix things, get things, yet is always criticizing his decisions on career, etc. I feel like he is totally embedded in my life yet he has this separate life that does not include me at all. I know he wants to be with his family and as I am close to my family I understand this. When I tell him my feelings, he says, “She just needs time to get used to you.” And he says, “I have to go.” I wish he would just stand up for me and say, hey, I’m not going because_____is not here and I want to share this with her. But he doesn’t want to rock the boat. Am I asking too much? I need help. I am at the point where I am starting to not like her at all and want nothing to do with her now or in the future. Please advise. I love my fiance. He is wonderful to me and we have a great relationship, but I wonder is this an ongoing thing that will interfere in our lives forever. This is really starting to get to me. Please advise me. HELP!
Got a mother-in-law dilemma? Post a question and get advice from real daughters-in-law, just like you! See a story you can relate to? Give advice and answer any of the questions posted by other daughters-in-law in need of some TLC.
Loading ...
Her name is Patricia. By day, she is Mrs. Corporate America, by night, she is an “Ann Landers” of sorts. Patricia is the founder of the wildly-popular website, Mother in Law Hell.
My DILS!! Check out the new logo to the right--this is a special sneak peak of what's coming with the new site... http://bit.ly/aFMiFA Follow!
Advice- Ex-mother-in-law problems
- Future Mother-in-law problems
- In Laws
- Indian Daughter-in-law
- Military Wives in MIL Hell
- Mother-in-law problems
- Sister-in-law from Hell
6 Responses to “Future MIL from Hell”
You’ve got yourself a classic Momma’s Boy. I am guessing he is 30, or well over that? He is living on the same property as Momma? Where does he expect YOU to live after the wedding (or will this be an “engagement” that lasts 10 years)? Do you honestly want to live in a house next to this troll? That he goes without you, AFTER you are not invited, speaks volumes. He has told you all you need to know: Momma is number one and YOU fall somewhere after that — if you even made the list.
Momma’s Boys don’t change and they are not worth the trouble. Tell him his Momma won and to go visit HER and not to bother coming around to see YOU anymore until you BOTH go to his Momma’s functions/events/gatherings as a couple. One of two things will then happen: 1) You will never see him again, 2) He will grow a partial spine and stand up to Momma.
Plus, you really must do this to meet the old crone and see what kind of evil, twisted hold she has over him. My guess is once you see that, you’ll run for the hills as fast as you can. DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN UNTIL YOU SEE THE PESKY MUMSY WUMSY YOU ARE UP AGAINST.
What is sooo wonderful about him?? Not being a smart arse. Just curious though … if someone in your family treated him that way– wouldn’t you jump in to defend ???!!!
Get marriage counseling BEFORE you get married! If he refuses, go WITHOUT him. I agree with the previous poster — forget him. Us women think, in time, he will change, I can make him change… or marriage will change him.. then it turns into when we have kids he will change. NOT!
(Dear Lord don’t have children with this man!)
GOOD Luck and be always be prepared!
PixieR
You have a huge issue here. Why does she not “have time to meet you?” You BF is not thinking of you or your feelings – or even creating a relationship with his Mommy – he is putting his Mommy over you. And that is how it will always be. So either you accept the fact that you will be his second rate woman or move on. This so called man should have brought you along and his family should have already accepted you as part of their family/traditions. It is obvious this is exactly how your marriage will be IF you marry him. Have you set a date? I bet not. His Mommy would never be available on THAT date. Open up your eyes and take a goof look at what is going on here. The dynamics of your relationship and his with his Mother. She will always “not like” you and he will always stand in her corner. Do you want to live your life in that environment? You seemed to have more self respect that that.
Find a man who is willing to be a “whole” family WITH YOU.
WHY would you marry someone who is already displaying signs of putting you last?
The statement you made “that he doesn’t want to rock the boat”, is a telling one…..married men don’t want to “rock that boat” either when their girlfriends start wanting more from them….your “fiancee” isn’t free to be with you, he is ‘married’ to his mom. Cut your losses and look elsewhere for a man to marry, you don’t need this three-some.
You’d better dump this one immediatly.How will you ever hold an intelligent conversation with him since his head is stuck up his Mom’s *ss ?
Are you getting a visual on that? Good… now call him up and DUMP HIM.If you are not good enough to be number one with him,then you don’t want to marry this joker.This guy is Peter Pan and will only give you enough to keep you with him forever but never in marriage,only in dating.I had one of these for 16 years of my life.