So I really need some advice, I am only 23 and I speak my mind very frequently. (Maybe more then I should.) Anyways, I dont know what I should do about my mother in law lying to me? My son will be three in a week and a half and when she found out I was pregnant she got mad at me because I said if it was a girl I was not naming it what she wanted me to, (Angel) I told her I had decided on Isabella and thats when my troubles begun big time with this woman. After her kicking her son and I out of her house while I was 7 months pg with her grandson (we moved in temporarily to save a little money for a down payment on our home. Which we were suppose to close on a week before she threw us out in the middle of winter.) We had to move in with his Aunt and Uncle (my mil’s brother) that lived about fourty five minutes away from our home town where we had to commute back and forth to for work now. We had found out that his mother was lying about me to his family behind our backs. Saying mean rude things about me to try to turn his family against me. One of the lies she had said was that I would not let my Husband go to his great grandmothers funeral services, which in actuality the reason he couldnt go was because his work would not release him to go that day. So they all thought it was all my doings. Then she told the family that she wen to the dr. and that she was told within the next five years she would be losing her eyesight for whatever reason I have no clue the reason. She had told everyone this but us, even the most stupidest little lies were being told. Well then after not speaking for them for the next 2 months before my son was born they started talking to us after he arrived and I was trying to forgive her for everything and put everything in the past since I had a child that was their family now too. Well after a week of him being born they FINALLY met him and I had found out 2 months later that she was telling other people I knew that I was not letting them see their grandchild and that they had never seen him before, in which they had seen him several times. So I confronted her on that and she didnt have much to say. So I let it go AGAIN. And there has been some other things that have gone on in these past two years that I have let go…..But this last Dec she ended up in the hospital for an infection *down there* was like a boil or something……and while in the hospital she found out she has diabetes. Well women we all know someone who more inlikely has this…..My mother has type 2 and my great grandmother had typw 1. Well when we were all there they had told her she had type 2 and would be able to control it with excerise and diet and possibly reverse it. And let me explain this women has to make her story/case seem worse then anyone elses, but when she got released she told us she could not afford her insulin………?? ok what seems wrong about that???? TYPE 2 YOU DONT TAKE INSULIN……Well she told us that when they released her they told her she is type 1 now and has to take insulin. So I took it with a grain of salt and believed her. Well the other day we are at their house and she is taking two white pills before dinner and I ask her why she is taking those instead of her insulin? Well she goes on to tell me that since she cant afford it they put her on these pills instead. At this point I am furious!!!!! Wanting to ask her at the dinner table why the hell she is lying to me??? I am not stupid ……with type one they do not take pills, with type one your insulin dependent!!! So see what I mean I am goin NUTS with this woman…….I so badly want to say something but dont want to make my situation worse having my son involved because he loves my husbands father. What do I do? I catch her in these lies all of the time and they are stupid and annoying.
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Her name is Patricia. By day, she is Mrs. Corporate America, by night, she is an “Ann Landers” of sorts. Patricia is the founder of the wildly-popular website, Mother in Law Hell.
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10 Responses to “Need some advice on a lying MIL”
My MIL is the same way. I think of it as a pathetic way to get attention. (oh, poor woman, she can’t afford her medicine…yeah right). I just ignore her because confronting her would probably just make you look like the bad guy and feed into her attention grabbing schemes. I am embarrassed for my DH for even having a mom like that and I don’t want to rub it even more in his face that he has a bad mother. She does things like ask me if I want her to cook us dinner the next night and when my DH calls to ask what time she might want us over she says she never said that. What is the point in such a stupid lie? Just don’t invite us in the first place. I feel your pain. I would just avoid her as much as possible. That’s my strategy. I can’t even be in the same room as my MIL for more than 10 min. she is so annoying.
Let her know you know she’s lieing. Confront her each and everytime. She’ll get so embarassed that she’ll eventually quit. But I did just want to let you know that people with Typ two diabetes may be able to control with diet and exercise. But doctors frequently also put them on different medications from pills to yes insulin shots. She might actually not be lieing about that one
Crazy in Love….Your MIL will continue to lie and do wahtever. You cannot control what she says or does. So accept it and do not stress over it. My MIL is the same way. She has said so many horrible untrue things about me to her family and friends – They all think I am a monster. and i am not. It hurts but it is what it is. Those who know her well and know she is a liar take it the same way you do – with a grain of salt. Those who choose to be a part of the lies and gossip are not worhty of being a part of your life. Where is your husband in all this? He is the one who needs to deal with her – not you. She is not your mother. SHe is his Mother. Ignore her. Let her lie. literally.
Let’s get some facts straight:
Type I Diabetes is childhood diabetes. No adult who has not previously been a diabetic can possibly have it. It is Type I because it starts during childhood because the child cannot make his / her own insulin.
Type II Diabetes is adult onset diabetes and is caused when we are not making enough insulin on our own. This needs monitoring and can be managed with diet, exercise and pills, but often progresses to requiring insulin.
If she has health insurance, the medications should be covered, although her deductible will still exist. It could be she cannot afford her copay / deductible. In this case, if she is over 65 she may qualify for Medicare. If she is under or if she has financial hardship, she may get coverage through Medicaid. Information for those can be found at Medicare.gov for the first and your state’s website for the latter.
Possibly, regarding illness, a good way to illustrate her lies is to use her own ignorance. If she herself cannot properly and consistently describe her condition and treatments, a simple review from information readily available online can demonstrate that. People aren’t generally expected to know the details about illnesses and treatments unless they have training or first had experience. With the latter of course, there can be mistakes, but to say that she is taking pills because she cannot afford insulin is an outright lie as the treatments are not interchangeable.
She knows that since there is little experience and probably no medical training in the immediate family she can use her illness to try and gain sympathy. Having said that, that is very shortsighted of her. A clear case of give this lady a noose and step back. Good luck.
I have a chrnic liar MIL too. She is constantly faking illnesses and telling my husband that she is teetering on death’s door (I WISH that was true!) so he will invite the witch over more. She will be just fine when only I am there and then start hacking up a lung the second my husband walks through the door. I deal with the hag by ignoring it and never making any comments — which sufficintly lets her know that I DO NOT CARE. This has been the most effective approach for me.
When she addresses me directly about her “illnesses” I say, “Well, I just wouldn’t know anything about that.” and change the subject. Again, showing her that I do not care.
There really is not much you can do about a liar. I confront her on the stuff that matters, and let the rest of her crap go ignored.
Good luck!
So it’s not just me!! My mother-in-law is a compulsive liar also. Always “having surgeries”, being sick, have stuff you never heard of. This woman has everything under the sun let her tell it. My advice to you is to ignore it. I share these unbelievable stories with my mom and grandmother and we find this woman hilarious because obviously she is not mentally stable. After VDAY week, my son has not been allowed to go back because there was an incident and I just think she is psychotic now. Ignore her, and just laugh to yourself. Sometimes when she tells outrageous lies, I ask her question just to make her stumble or look stupid in front of everyone. This tickles me everytime. Catch her up when you can, but don’t be snappy, just ask whatever question calmly as if you really want her to answer becuase stuff isn;t makin sense. I’m laughin now jus thinking of the dumb-founded lookks on my MIL face.
My MIL lies about illnesses too!! She does it for attention. She even told her elderly mother she “almost” has cancer… I think this is such a terrible lie.
Good Luck!
What I have done I give no sympathy for her parade of ever-changing illnesses.
When she showed up at more door with a brace on her leg I ignored it.
When she said she has environmental illness and wanted me not to use deodorant or hairspray (but she herself dies her hair/paints her nails and uses Oxyclean in her house) I just ignored her and put on extra hairspray and deodorant and what do you know she had no symptoms and didn’t even notice.
When she is not around and I find myself thinking about her lies I put on some music or go for a walk. I try not to talk about her at all … just think of her as some random neighbor who you don’t really know or care about at all (who unfortunately shows up at some family events and sometimes at your door
Look at the pill bottle and see what shes taking. Look it up online to see why you take those pills! Maybe its something else and shes trying to hide it? who knows. But if you find out what it is and what it’s used for you can figure it out!
Lying is a manipulative coping mechanism for people who (1) are good at getting their own way and (2) are too stupid to get what they want in a straightforward way. My MIL is twisting and lying to get attention and create negativity against me. Because she’s too stupid to ever be right, she has to lie.
Well my husband knows she is a compulsive liar…..thats the crazy part. He has grown up easy going and lets EVERYTHING roll right off of his shoulders. But he knows what she is doing. She lies to him all the time also. He is not stupid but lets it go. I told him yesterday that when I know she is lying I think I am going to ? her about what she is lying about. But I dont know if I am brave enough to really do that. And My great grandmother had type 1 diabetes and I dont think she had them as a child. But I do know that my son has genetics for type 1 because we had him tested at birth. But I do get all of my info off the internet and that how I know she doesnt have type one because they dont make it in pill form. And she doesnt have health ins. but there are many programs out there to help her get her meds and my mother has tried to become friends with her to help her out because she has diabetes also and she ignores my mom and does not listen so I just gave up on trying to help her out. Thank you guys so much for your advice! CIL