It all started when I started working for my MIL in June of ‘06. she wasn’t my mother in law then, i wasn’t even dating her son yet. but she was controlling and was telling me to marry her son. well july ‘08 her son and i got married. he is in the marines. my family and her do not get along by any means. my father is in the coast guard and she went to his command and said some things weren’t true. this was before her son and i got married. then i asked her not to come to the airport when i left to go move with her son. she didn’t like that at all. but i apologized and everything was fine and dandy. until about 1 week before my husband deployed to iraq for a year. she tells him that I am a bad wife, and what not, and the next day, shows up in hawaii, unannounced and stays with us, on our couch without even asking. she ruins all the plans that we were going to do before he deployed. she came off the plane drunk. made a scene and told me i ruined her son. well i let her be the way she was while she was in hawaii because i wanted my husband to have a good time before he left. well after he left, and after she left back to her home up north, she asks me to do her a favor.given, this is like a week after he deployed. i didn’t do the favor quite the way she wanted me to, and she told me that if it was important to me, i would do it the way she wanted me to and i was in a vulnerable, bitchy state and i told her she wasn’t important to me as much as she thought she was. well, about 20 minutes later she sends me a text saying how my husband told her that he married the wrong girl and decides to post it all over her myspace. i tried to make up for it, and i got her favor taken care of the way she asked. i became depressed and lost about 10 lbs in a matter of a week. i wasn’t able to talk to him for a quite a while, and i didn’t even know what to believe. well she just kept going with it, and started spreading rumors about my father, and she just wont let up. she tells my husband that the choices he makes are going to effect his life forever. she wants nothing to do with me. i used to look up to this woman. she was like a second mother and it kills me that i can’t talk to her or turn to her. im not going to beg her or anything like that. but i am not even able to talk to my 10 year old sister-in-law and i wasn’t able to give her any christsmas presents this year because her mom wouldn’t let me see her. this is the kind of person she is. my husband has been gone since october and it is now february. he still has another 9 months until he is home. and the thing is, his mother and i now live in the same city again and there are false rumors getting spread about me and it gets to me. and she has these pictures of him and his ex-girlfriend all over her myspace. i have tried to be an adult but i dont know what to do anymore. she has ruined the relationship between her and her son. my husband doens’t even call her anymore. but thats not what i want. so please help me! i need advice!!
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Her name is Patricia. By day, she is Mrs. Corporate America, by night, she is an “Ann Landers” of sorts. Patricia is the founder of the wildly-popular website, Mother in Law Hell.
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7 Responses to “My MIL is the SHE DEVIL!!!”
1. Stop looking at her Myspace page. Why would you torture yourself with lies and childish behavior? This is not a beneficial use of your time — and she COUNTS on you looking at it and getting all upset. She thrives on it. Don’t give her that power over you.
2. Leave the old bat to your husband. If he does not call her or want to associate with her, so be it. SHE IS HIS PROBLEM. Don’t let her guilt you into thinking it is yours.
3. Stop caring what this old biddy says or does. By how YOU live your life, people can decide for THEMSELVES who is lying. Take the high road here.
4. Focus on yourself and what makes YOU happy. Blot this crone from your mind — the sooner the better.
5. If you have not already done so, STOP answering her phone calls and delete her rude messages, or just forward them on to your husband for HIS response back to her — keeping you conpletely out of that loop.
I totally agree with DDIL.. end the self torture and look forward to your DH coming home. Put all of your positive thoughts out to him and your future life together. The more you give in to her negativity, the more you harm yourself., try to look on the bright side, you lost 10 lbs…. now loose the MIL.
Once again Disrespectful DIL has covered the major points. You are going to have to cultivate that thick skin and ignore this godzillamomfromhell. Consider her like the doggie doo you scrap off and continue on with your life.
Your mil has issues and it best to ignore her.Her issues will come round to her in such a way that ppl will see her for who she really is.Concentrate on praying that your dh comes home safely.
O hun, deployments suck. They are hard enough without adding your horrible MIL to it. She sounds like a piece of work. I’m assuming you moved back home for the deployment. That has it’s benifits, but also you don’t have anyone around you going through the same thing. If you have deployment blues also try devildogdivas.org you can find the best sisters there. But DDIL is completely right. Stop looking at her myspace. and block her from yours and make yours private!
Unfortunately, I know exactly what you are going through. I know a lot of people keep advising you to ignore the craziness, but I know that’s not possible. If it’s anything like my situation, all the lies she is telling end up blurring the actual “truth.” You find yourself having to become more and more involved and keep up with what she is saying to keep your marriage alive. She’s lying to your husband, which is even more difficult since he is away (mine’s away for 1 year too), and everyone in the family. If you aren’t aware of what she is saying, you can’t stand up for yourself if the need arises. I’ve been trying everything to figure out some advice for myself. I’ve tried ignoring her…didn’t work. I’ve tried friending her…didn’t work. As it all turns out, my MIL is trying to remain in control of the marriage and me. She accuses me of not returning calls or emails, which she never made/sent. And, when she makes up these lies, she calls my husband and complains to him saying, “Why isn’t she returning my calls? You need to have a little talk with your ‘wifey.’” Lately, what I’ve been doing to counteract her “deeds” is giving her a taste of her own medicine. Since she’s been saying I’m not returning emails/calls, when she does actually call or email me for real, I respond and then complete a follow up. I’ll, for instance, send a reply email and, then, if I don’t hear anything back, I send an email stating “I just wanted to make sure you got my email. I didn’t get a reply from you and didn’t want you to think I was ignoring you.” It’s too early to determine if this is working or not, but it sure makes me feel better. I don’t know if any of this has helped. Keep up the fight!
I hate what you are going thru…. my mother in law convinced his family that I talked him into going into the Army because I was hoping he would get deployed and die so I could get the insurance $. I hate that woman. I love him more than anything and for someone to say stuff that isn’t true about your and your husbands relationship is like being stabbed. It def. gets your blood boiling. After I called her today to let her know that my husband was ok (he is now deployed) and that I talked to him today, she decided to huff and puff, when I didn’t buy into her “feel sorry for me bit” she decided to bad mouth my brother for suffering from PTSD after his 3rd deployment to Iraq…. I am so done.