Comments on: useless mother in law

By: Tracey

Tracey — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:26:01 +0000

I should do that I guess, but I let it rot then throw it away before she sees it! I think I’ll try leaving it out. I also get some occasional excesses from her allotment – not nice stuff that I would be pleased with, but the big old leaves with holes in where the bugs have eaten them and I get advice from the MIL (chard – you might want to check it for snails (I always find a few), spinach – wash the white fly off with salt, and so on…..yum)

By: Disrespectful DIL

Disrespectful DIL — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:03:16 +0000

The MIL has a right to be lazy in her own home. Frankly, Tracey, I wouldn’t want your old bat of a MIL watching my children if she tried to get them to undermine others. Your better off with her sitting on her butt, where you can at least keep a distant eye on her.

When she visits and wants something, hand her the phone and tell her she can order some rhubarb pizza. My troll of a MIL used to bring stuff over for me to cook with all of the time. Now I let it rot where it sits, so she KNOWS it is NOT being used. For the most part, this behavior of hers has stopped. Of course she has so many other traits and habits…

By: Tracey

Tracey — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 14:15:23 +0000

Actually I can see some of where you’re coming from. My awful MIL likes to inflict herself on us, usually once a week for several hours, but no matter how rushed off my feet I am she doesn’t lift a finger. I have 2 children – one aged two and one aged 8 months. When I’m ill, which has been a lot lately, she just arrives, sits down, and waits to be waited upon. She likes the playing side bit though (ignores the youngest though as he’s too young for her to get much back). She just creates more work.
She is known within the family as the most fantastic cook to walk the planet (I would disagree, she’s not!), and whilst many of my friends found upon their return from hopital that family turned up with a meal or at least made them a cup of tea, when my son was 24 hours old my MIL still expected waitress service and brought me a bag of rhubarb so I could make a pie for her son/my husband – she then brought rhubarb round (she knows I loathe the stuff) every week thereafter until it was out of season (like I had time to make pies when I had a newborn and my daughter was only 16 months). She is very lucky it wasn’t shoved somewhere.
Might sound minor but you’d need to be here to see what she’s like to me. I try to talk to her and she often just looks at me and gives a curt reply if I’m lucky, and I end up feeling miserable and uncomfortable in my own home! She ruins my day regularly.
She is fiercely protective of her family, she’ll stick up for them when they’re so plainly in the wrong. Her daughters are as selfish as her. At least my husband does see it, so I have his support but he feels very awkward.
It’s a shame – I dread her visits but my 2 year old likes her. I feel I get all the downside when it suits her (for a fun day out for herself), but no help/support/niceness. Never once has babysat for me and husband to go out. Undermines me in front of my stepson (aged 9) too if he’s visiting – if I correct him on something she sticks up for him and says it was fine. When she’s visiting I end up making her lunch, running to and fro up and down the stairs seeing to the children when they’re meant to be napping, washing bottles, tidying, and then making cups of tea, while she sits there. (she’s not even very old, in her early 60s and super fit – very active and sporty still). She makes it plain that she adores the grandchildren, and I am merely incidental.
Best thing is to move out worm if you can and you’re that unhappy – at least I could ban my MIL from the house. It’s getting near that!

By: Bride To Be

Bride To Be — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 13:51:26 +0000

*rubs forehead*

My GOD…are you kidding me?! PLEASE tell me this is a joke!

So let me get this straight? You are living in this womans house, she doesn’t butt in with your life, doesn;t tell you how to raise your child, doesn’t smother you with “helpful hints”, plays with your baby, and you are angry?! Really?!?!?!?!

Do you know how many women on here would LOVE to have that very mother in law?

If you don’t like her cooking, then YOU do the cooking. Stop using that baby as an excuse. I’m sure if you asked the MIL to watch her while you made dinner she would be HAPPY to.

Time to pull up you big girl panties!

By: Disrespectful DIL

Disrespectful DIL — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 05:59:04 +0000

Hello? HELLO??? Your MIL has raised her babies. It is your turn to raise yours. What do you want? Someone constantly meddling with how you raise your child? Somebody who tells you every other second what an awful mother you are, how you will never be good enough, and how perfect she was in her day?

A grandmother’s role is to play with and love her grandchild. NOT to smother you with “hints” or to take ANY responsiblity for your child. YOU ARE THE MOTHER NOW. THIS IS YOUR ROLE. BE GRATEFUL SHE IS ALL FOR YOU DOING SO AND NOT NAGGING OR MEDDLING IN YOUR AFFAIRS. Upset with all of her “free” time? Then take a nap when she plays with your baby — only be respectful and ask her beforehand if that is okay.

You are living in her home and ragging on her too? Just be glad she plays with your daughter and enjoys it. You lucky duck. If you don’t like it. Get off your butt and move out. Sheesh.

By: Hawaii560

Hawaii560 — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 23:58:01 +0000

Why are you soooo mad???? What do you want of her? What do you want her to contribute?
Most DIL’s would love to have a MIL that does nothing. Do you feel snubbed by her? If so, then maybe you could ask her for some advice. But tread very carefully my dear. It’s a Pandora’s box. Once opened it is really hard to close, never mind dangerous.