Cutting off contact with MIL

I need to know if anyone has cut off their MIL. She has recently started getting much worse with my daugher. She was jealous from the begining that I had a girl, she has two boys. My first was a son and even though she was horrible to me, she was very good to my son. When my daughter was born…she bought all blue things (my daughter was a month old) and kept telling me I was supossed to have a boy. She always said she just didn’t bond with her. She would take her shopping, at age 5 and comment on her weight (she is a perfect weight) then would comment on what are lower fat foods. We had to ban the shopping trips since my DD would come home and cry every time. She would buy 8 things for my son and one thing for my daughter and make a big deal about how fussy she is. This is a joke, she is a super easy going little girl, funnily enough she didn’t want the brown outfit Nana had wanted to buy, and had the guts to say she liked pink better. She recently told her not to have a second peice of pie at Thanksgiving because us girls have to be careful. All the while encouraging the boys to eat. She ignores her and then insults her when she does talk to her. Always with a passive aggressive smile on her face.

This post was submitted by glitter mom.

My Sons are Unsafe at the MIL’s House..a Long Story..

I truly have the MIL from HELL. DH and I have been together for 7 1/2 years and married for 5. We have two boys-one is 4 1/2 and the other is 15 months old. DH has two older sisters and a younger brother. My MIL has always been very opinionated, manipulative, selfish-the type who sees her DILs as “competition”-in other words, she cannot handle any other woman being a part of her sons’ lives. (My BIL’s wife deals with a lot of the same stuff I do.) MIL has a lot of health problems. She is about 5 feet tall, and weighs about 400 pounds, and is confined to a hospital bed in the middle of her living room. She has emphysema, her knees are shot, her kidneys are barely functioning, she can’t sit up, let alone stand up or walk, and she pretty much just runs the show from her bed. She needs to go to a nursing home, but she refuses so instead, my poor FIL does EVERYTHING for her, from cooking her meals to diapering her, etc. Anyway, the house is full of medical equipment, prescription bottles, etc. Their other grandchildren are all grown, so nothing in the house is even CLOSE to being babyproofed-no cabinet locks, no outlet covers, NOTHING. Recently our older son was diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum. We explained to my MIL and my FIL that we were concerned for his safety in their home-i.e. in the past he had gotten into knives, we’ve grabbed pill bottles out of his hand, he put Ben-Gay in his mouth, sprayed Windex, etc. He doesn’t understand fear, so the stairs in their raised-ranch house are an added concern. They have done NOTHING. So when we would go to their house, my DH and I were constantly jumping up to grab our sons away from dangerous situations. (Not to mention MIL swears and curses worse than a sailor, uses bigoted terms, etc. in front of the kids when we have asked her to tone it down.) On holidays we can’t even eat or talk to anyone because we spend the whole time protecting the boys. MIL gets disgusted with us and tells us that we are “too nervous” to “let the kids be, they’re fine” and she mocks us and laughs at us! We have both tried over and over to explain to her that our son has autism, he is NOT like other kids, we HAVE to be concerned for his safety-and she will either tell us again we are overreacting and that “she heard on TV the other day about autism” so she “knows all about it” blah blah blah-when in reality she knows NOTHING about our son’s diagnosis. We’ve tried to educate her, but she hears what she wants to hear, tells US we’re wrong, etc. Over the last few months, after our younger son was able to crawl and then walk we stopped going over there altogether-it was a disaster for us with chasing both kids and inevitably DH and I were going home and fighting CONSTANTLY. Due to her health situation, she can’t come to our house, and since she is such a domineering person, my FIL stays away too, or she gives him HELL. I feel like my kids are being cheated out of their grandparents, but I have to make their safety my priority. But as a result, the rest of the family (with the exception of my BIL and his wife, who have our backs 100%) has stopped talking to us-in their eyes, WE are the “bad guys.” It is such a mess and I don’t know what to do. I feel like she doesn’t accept my son’s diagnosis, thinks we are stupid parents, and it’s really affecting me.

This post was submitted by stephie0816.

nightmare city

I have known my hubby for years (25) we became a couple about 5 years ago. His mother lives with us. They argue constantly. With me being the b–ch, or the whore or the thing She is always saying that she is going to get him for abuse when she is the name caller and even throws thing at him
She took a swing at me and i just blocked it. She did a belly hit to him which jerked him back and then forward so that there foreheads hit and she had 2 black eyes. She thinks she knows everything and has done everything She fuels all arguements to keep herself amused and then states she did not do it She hurts everyone!!

This post was submitted by kathy.

breaking point–please help me!

This is my first time posting, I hope you guys can help me, its defently a MIL Hell situation!

This post was submitted by mojo.

Additional MIL help!

Let me start off by saying that we went through a custody case for my stepdaughter that cost close to $90,000 dollars after all was said and done. We started custody proceedings when in 1992 and was awarded custody in 1993. My mother-in-law has always treated this grandchild different from the other grandchildren. It is very obvious to everyone. My husband just sat back and watched all these years and does not say a word. My stepdaughter at (16 years old was so out of control that no one could control her). So my mother-in-law steps in…….and says she will take her in……Well needless to say my stepdaughter ran up the $2,000 cell phone bill (for one month), she stole hundreds of dollars from my in-laws drawers and she eventually ran away. My mother in-law- was in such denial that when it happened to her she was devastated. I thought I told you so (now you can see what we were going through. Through our attorney we gave up custody of the child…..We could not longer handle her and felt that it was not fair to our other children. We all decided that until she changed and had the ability to grow up, tell the truth and stop stealing, doing drugs and having sex with (just about anyone) that we would not see her. Low and behold my mother-in-law calls her up and of course my stepdaughter (wants money and things)…..so hear we are back in the same situation. My mother-in-law tells my husband that she has changed and that she is not doing drugs (and that she really wants to see him). As her stepmother I am the cause of all her problems. She told my mother-in-law that she wants nothing to do with me. So my husband and I see pictures of her smoking crack on her MYSPACE page and the fact that she failed to tell my mother-in-law that she is on PROBATION for driving 120 in a 60 mph zone……So I sent the pictures through the mail to my mother-in-law……low and behold once again my husband is upset at me because I hurt his mother. Stepdaughter tells mother-in-law that the pictures were old but on the photo is says 09-25-2008. Mother-in-law thinks I am picking on her and tell husband to tell me that this is none of my business. My mother-in-law thinks my husband does not see his daughter because of me and since my husband won’t set the record straight (it also appears that way). I have a son 14 (our son together and personally I don’t want him around his daughter or his parents. My mother-in-law called me one day about two months ago and she said did you know (my son) encouraged me to have a relationship with his daughter…..Honestly I should have left her (stepdaughter) with her mother years ago (as the saying goes the apple does not fall far from the tree. How do I handle my mother-in-law and husband who is playing both sides of the fence behind my back?

This post was submitted by whoneycutt.

I can’t begin to explain her

I am going to start from the beginning my father-in-law past way 13 years ago. My mother-in-law never remarried. She has 4 kids ages now 23,22,20,and 14. When my-father-in-law past way, she was given the insurance money totally up or over 80,000 dollars plus she was receiving Social Security benefits for her self and 4 kids. I have known that she had put most of that money in stocks and bonds and she has this in Mexico. I also learned that my father-in-law has another son of 25yrs old here. And the reason my mother-in-law buried my father-in-law in Mexico is because she did not want to give the ex any money for his other son. Ok with that said after all of this my-mother-in-law dedicated her self to work day and night. (wondering about the kids) ok well all the kids had either a aunt or cousin take care of them. The 3 older ones have all told me that they have very little memory of there mother spending time with them. Well my mother-in-law says different but wishes she had different relationships with all her kids. I have to force my husband to go visit her. They have no communication what so ever this hurts me alot. My mother-in-law wants my help. I agreed to talk to her and tell her some of what I know. I have talk to her on many occasions I told her if she want to start a communication with her children that she had to show them. I told her that she taught them how to hold everything inside and that is what there doing. She never taught them to express them self’s. I told her that she had to start everything all over again. She told me that I did not know what I was talking about cause I did not any kids. That I would never know until I had kids. With each kid she is having a different problem. The 14 yr old has never been disciplined in her life. She is talking back and more. My brother-in-law still live at home 22 and does not want to help pay bill but because they just found out that there father had left them money. And he does not understand that why she is always asking him for money if she does have money. My sister-in-law is in prison. This is her third time my mother-in-law is trying to hide it from everyone they have been told that she is out of town taking care of her uncle who is sick (not) that she is studying in out of town. Her daughter has told her time and time again that this does not make her fell like she can move on from her past. My mother-in-law does not understand. I don’t know what to tell her anymore. Please help!!!

This post was submitted by Rosita.

Wacked out MIL

This post was submitted by fallingwater.

The judge may grant me temporary insanity if I did something…….

To start I should say that I had 3 children from a previous marriage when I got into the relationship I am currently in. He also had 2 children from a previous marriage, so it wasn’t like I just thrust children upon his life unexpectedly. I know from having to deal with a past MIL, that sometimes they can be rude and intrusive but I don’t think I ever expected to be where I am today.

This post was submitted by Manda.

We blew it!!!

Well i married my high school sweetheart and we have four children together. When i got pregnant for the third time we found out we were having twins. So we were excited to tell my mother in law and her reaction was… Now you two have really blown it!!! and said that we screwed up!

This post was submitted by delma.

Depressed Unemployed FMIL Moving In with Us

My bf and I have been together 5 years. Just moved in together 3 months ago and got engaged less than 2 weeks ago. Well his mother lost her job 4 months ago. About a month or two ago she became really depressed and suicidal because she hadn’t found a job yet and was going to lose her apartment because they won’t renew the lease. She was suicidal and we told her if she didn’t find anything she could come live with us until she gets on her feet. She lives several states away.

This post was submitted by aaargh.

So what do think i should do?

my husband and I have been together for 5yrs and he has this ex that he was together with for 2yrs I think or something of that nature…anyways she still calls this girl her daughter and has never called me anything of that except for “my son’s wife” aint that ’bout a blimp…she got married and invited the ex to wedding but yet told me that I better not start a fight at her wedding but the ex threaten me!!!! we (my husband, his mom, her husband and me)had a so called family meeting but she tells me that she don’t like me…lmao…I cant do anything right but laugh at the fact that to me this is all ignorance more from her part right? so what the fudge..how am I suppose to feel? oh and then because me and my husband didn’t have a wedding…yes we didn’t invite anyone..you know she had the nerves to get mad even though she told us if we got married she would not come. now what kind of bull#%it is that to tell someone? I have so much animosity for the way that she treats us and I try to be the bigger person and not say anything to her only because of my husband and I put his feelings first because he loves his mother…but me..man man man I have alot of words for that woman…what should i do?

This post was submitted by jusme01.

3 YEARS OF STRESS

Well 3 years ago I met the man of my dreams. Lil did I know I would have a mother-in-law that would try to take all my dreams away. It all started when I moved to Alabama to be with him an start a life. I had been there about 4 months before I realized that he had never really invited me to meet his parents. I asked him about this an he simple put it ….My family are firm believers that marriage before the whole living with each other an stuff. So I tried to deal with that but, after a Lil bit I couldn’t deal with knowing I am my daughter from a previous relationship were a secret. So I push it a Lil more an then I got to meet them.

This post was submitted by flmotherof2.

Am I wrong? I would like an honest opinion?

Hello everyone,

This is my first time visiting your site. I had a serious talk with my mother-in-law yesterday for almost 3 hours. Have I lost my sense of right and wrong? Is my mother-in-law correct in what she says is acceptable?

This is my story:

This post was submitted by Anna.

MIL who does what she wants

This is a great website, I need a place to vent about my MIL.

I never had much of a problem with my MIL until after my son (her first grandson) was born. Which is probably becuase I only saw her occasionally and because my BF and I are not married. But now that my son is here it feels like she is always around.

This post was submitted by mlm2579.

I think I am going insane!

Let me start off by saying that we went through a custody case for my stepdaughter that cost close to $90,000 dollars after all was said and done. We started custody proceedings when in 1992 and was awarded custody in 1993. My mother-in-law has always treated this grandchild different from the other grandchildren. It is very obvious to everyone. My husband just sat back and watched all these years and does not say a word. My stepdaughter at (16 years old was so out of control that no one could control her). So my mother-in-law steps in…….and says she will take her in……Well needless to say my stepdaughter ran up the $2,000 cell phone bill (for one month), she stole hundreds of dollars from my in-laws drawers and she eventually ran away. My mother in-law- was in such denial that when it happened to her she was devastated. I thought I told you so (now you can see what we were going through. Through our attorney we gave up custody of the child…..We could not longer handle her and felt that it was not fair to our other children. We all decided that until she changed and had the ability to grow up, tell the truth and stop stealing, doing drugs and having sex with (just about anyone) that we would not see her. Low and behold my mother-in-law calls her up and of course my stepdaughter (wants money and things)…..so hear we are back in the same situation. My mother-in-law tells my husband that she has changed and that she is not doing drugs (and that she really wants to see him). As her stepmother I am the cause of all her problems. She told my mother-in-law that she wants nothing to do with me. So my husband and I see pictures of her smoking crack on her MYSPACE page and the fact that she failed to tell my mother-in-law that she is on PROBATION for driving 120 in a 60 mph zone……So I sent the pictures through the mail to my mother-in-law……low and behold once again my husband is upset at me because I hurt his mother. Stepdaughter tells mother-in-law that the pictures were old but on the photo is says 09-25-2008. Mother-in-law thinks I am picking on her and tell husband to tell me that this is none of my business. My mother-in-law thinks my husband does not see his daughter because of me and since my husband won’t set the record straight (it also appears that way). I have a son 14 (our son together and personally I don’t want him around his daughter or his parents. My mother-in-law called me one day about two months ago and she said did you know (my son) encouraged me to have a relationship with his daughter…..Honestly I should have left her (stepdaughter) with her mother years ago (as the saying goes the apple does not fall far from the tree. How do I handle my mother-in-law and husband he is playing both sides of the fence behind my back?

This post was submitted by Wendy.