I was physically abusing her??

Background: My husband is an only child of a single mother who suffers from a laundry list of “serious” conditions. I am the youngest of 7 children and my parents are still married and hearing impaired. We have 2 daughters together and are both military.
My MIL has always made my life hell beginning with telling me that my husband was cheating on me (it wasn’t true). I have always taken it with a grain of salt because she suffers from dementia and her own mother told me she was evil. So when my husband was in Iraq for his 3rd tour she came to live with me. At the time my children lived with my mother because I was on a shift rotation with my position. She couldn’t pay her bills and was near being homeless. I offered my home and even made EVERYTHING in my home comfortable for her and her numerous disabilities. I worked 16 hour days and came home late every night. She always complained that I was “never paying attention to her” and needed to call her bill companies and arrange her budget. When I did and called her insurance company, I found out that many of her ailments were FAKE! and she had never suffered from any of them. She asked me to pay her bills up to date (I have 2 girls under 7 y/o) which I refused and to move to another apartment because mine didn’t have a wheelchair ramp. Then I lost my cool… after years of her BS I lost my cool. I blew up and let it rip. When I did, I found out she has insurance on my children with her as the beneficiary and she blamed me for her son not wanting to deal with her. So when I left the apt to chill off, I came home to an empty house…. where was she? She walked to the apartment of my maintenance man and woke his family up at 1130 PM screaming and crying that I threw her out and hit her. He came to my door and asked me to get this crazy woman because his wife was going to flip out if she didn’t leave. At this point it was incredibly dramatic. She refused to come home and walked to the front office and called her sister who was in the hospital with brain cancer and demanded her to pick her up. She called me every name in the book in front of these unknown people!ARGH! Then I got the rundown… She would go to the front office of my complex everyday and sit there watching TV, all the while telling EVERYONE who would listen to her, that I was abusing her, hiding food from her, stealing her medicine, taking her son (imaginary husband), and keeping her from her cancer physician (she didn’t have cancer). I have always wondered why they would look at me funny when I paid my rent and now I know. I have never been so mortified in my life. The next day I lived up to my word. I dropped her off at the train station, made her carry her own luggage to the car and into the station, made her pay for her own ticket and left her there. I don’t care who says this was mean. I wanted it to be mean. TEN FREAKIN’ YEARS OF HER!!! This was the least that I could do to teach her a lesson. My husband agrees that needed to happen and she hasn’t called me since. Oh, and my children are going to hell BC they are Catholics being raised by the deaf and DUMB! ARGH!! She is a Sheppard from the devil!!!

This post was submitted by Jennifer.

Mother-in-law lied!!!

I am a 32 year old women. I have been with my husband for 14 years and we have 3 children. I always had a good relationship with my in-laws or so I thought. They lived about 300 miles away. Our problems began about 2 years ago when they decided to move closer to us (15 miles away). Things were great at first and the kids loved having their grandparents close. They are truck drivers and were on the road 3 weeks out of each month. The problem was that when they were home they wanted us to spend every waking moment with them. We did not mind going to visit sometimes but We do alot of family things just us and the kids. I believe my mother-in-law began to blame me because we didn’t spend all our time with them. She was really jealous of the relationship we had. She began to try and drive a wedge between me and my husband. She actually went as far as telling my husband lies to try to cause problems. He saw though them and tried to ignore the statements she was making. The problem was I was still in the dark and had no idea she was saying these things. In the end her and my husband had a huge fight and she sent me a very nasty email blaming me for everything. I felt betrayed that my husband kept everything a secret and I had no clue how she felt until I received the email. For the 1st time ever I thought of leaving my husband. We did get through it and my husband is no longer speaking to his parents. They moved 1,000 miles away a year ago and we have had no contact with them. His mom calls his cell but he does not answer. The problem is I feel terrible about this because of my children. I don’t think I could ever be in the same room with them again but I have told my husband that I have no problems with him and the kids talking and visiting them. He just feels so betrayed he does not even want to talk about it. What should I do?

This post was submitted by Angela.

Is a “heart to heart” worth it

I have been with my fiance for 4 years and we are getting married in 2 months. At the beginning of our relationship MIL was sweet and kind and very giving. Upon year 2 of our relationship things went downhill. It started with snide comments about the way I dressed or the way I looked or the way I responded to questions asked. Then it turned into an awful gossip session after I would leave his house. Such as “can you believe what she said?…etc. It started to turn really ugly after we bought our house. She would make comments to my fiance like “She has live a princess lifestyle with everything provided for her, once she realizes how hard things are when you live on your own, she is gong to pack up and move out” The worst was when her father became very ill last summer and she called to ask for my help and advice. As I work in long term care she thought I would be able to answer some of her questions, after stating numerous times that I was not an expert, I gave her my advice on such things as power of attorney and power of personal care etc.. She thanked me profusely for the advice and not even five minutes later she got on the phone with her other son and other family members saying that I thought I was an expert and that I was after the family’s money.
My fiance had NEVER been a relationship before and I was his first girlfriend. I’m wondering if she thinks that I am replacing her because I’m not. She continously makes comments when I’m not around to my fiance, his brother and his wife, as well as numerous other family members. Do I sit down with her and call her on it and risk being thought even less of, or do I do it and hope that it will improve our relationship?
Erin

This post was submitted by er_kat.

Denver Diva

My husband was dying last fall. My sister in laws and my mother in law were bickering amongst themselves. One sister in law hadn’t bothered to communicate with my husband for the past 7 years except to complain about our adult (26 years old) son’s email to her (their dad was dying - she hadn’t spoken with him in 15+ yrs and suddenly wanted to submit the obit - of course with her edits). Anyway, they had scheduled trips to see my husband about 4-6 weeks out (separate since they were bickering). I called each of them once I was aware from Hospice that he really had less than 2 weeks and asked them to come together sooner rather than later. His best friend and wife were coming to stay, then our two oldest children - we live 650 miles from our family and old friends. I figured I could have him focused for a few days after our chidlren left. Well I managed to get them to put aside their bickering - they get down to us the afternoon after our children leave. It was just awful. My husband;s youngest sister drinks like a fish, the other sister is critical of everyone and my mother in law supports her girls no matter what. Drunk Sister in law can’t leave my dying husband alone (rubbing his head and generally agitating him after he was comatose) anyway - my mother in law and sister in laws don’t speak to me or my children!! Never did they every give us any sympathy or do they communicate with us now - I was a part of this family for 20+ years - nothing!

This post was submitted by Janeet Sumney.

Psychotic manipulating wack job

First of all I have to say to the young ladies about to get married.STOP…and observe his parents carefully.If they do things that annoy you,if they have little quirks and attitudes that drive you up the wall.Guess what your future hub is going to be like.It doesnt hapen overnight,they morph very slowly untill one day you realise that you have married their clone.Find out everything about them and the family.
Find out their secrets and genetic diseases.If I knew then what I know now….Fil is in a CULT.UGH!!!
Where to start. I have come to the point that I am finsihed with them.Hub has never set boundaries and as a result psycho wack job belives that she can tells us what to do and how to do it.I could write for days.Nothing is ever good enough.This woman didnt say hardly 2 words to me until the day of our wedding that I didnt want,hub wanted a wedding to please mumsie…that should have tipped me off big time.

This post was submitted by Michelle Gartner.

EVIL MIL.

So, I recently got married on August 10th. It was beautiful and everything I could have hoped for! But now, my husband and I are living with his Mom, Dad, and their teenage daughter until we can build a stronger foundation of our own. I always had issues with his mom, ever since I met her. She’s one of those women who thinks everyone’s bussiness is her business and of course, she’s convinced she knows everything. Anyways, the day we moved in, I got so greeting whatsoever. All his mom had to tell me was that I had to give my dog away. He was a very purebred Chihuahua. It broke my heart, but I did it because I really had no choice. No one else could hold on to him for me or anything. Anyways, about a week after living there, she calls for a “family meeting”. And the meeting ended on a bad note obviously. We know owe her rent every month [the agreement was that we didnt have to, so we could save and conserve money easier], but she was mad because we wouldnt put my husband and I’s money in her bank account, where we had NO access to whatsoever. She’s the kind of woman that if shes in a bad mood, then there is absolutely NO reason anyone else should be happy and believe me, she makes sure no one is! Luckily, my husband agrees with me most of the times when his mom acts like a lunatic. Right now, we’re just trying to get out as soon as possible! AND get a new puppy.

This post was submitted by Kaitlynn Jones.

Mother Doesnt want to meet me. Need Advice

Hi there,

I feel a little weird writing this but feel stuck!

I’m not married to my partner so his mother is not quite my mother-in-law (YET).

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we both want to take the leap into marriage. However his mother doesn’t want to meet me. She seems very dependent on her son and already has issues with her own daughter.

This post was submitted by Shazza.

Is it really over for my MIL to stay the night..

without an invitation during busy workweek? Okay, here it is.
My Mother In Law lives about 2 hours away. My husband work ALOT and are lucky to get one good afternoon together a week. She just decides to come visit us whenever she wants, usually with very little warning. We have a really small house, so when she visits she sleeps (with her 15 year old daughter) in our living room. She always comes over on work days, so we don’t have time to clean up or really visit her at all. We have a 2 year old son, and during the workweek we try to stick to our routine (you know, dinner and bedtime). On SEVERAL occasions since we have been together she has decided to come to town on our only day off, or when we have had other plans, or on a stressful time at work when I have had to work early the next day etc. THE BIG PROBLEM IS: With Holiday season approaching, am feeling the need to law some ground rules. I am a retail manager and therefore during the months of November and December I cannot have or request even one day off (and business triples). Last Thanksgiving, we told her (and my family) we would be spending the holiday with some local friends. She decided to come over the 2 days before Thanksgiving instead, even though we were busy working. Then, on Thanksgiving Day she attempted to talk us into allowing her to stay “just tell your friends to come over and I will cook for you.” THEN, FOR CHRISTMAS we decided to have it with my dad(for the first time, we had it with her the past 3 years). She, once again came to our house, stayed Christmas eve, until the minute we got in the car and left. We got to spend less than 24 hours with my family, and just week she gave me a guilt trip about it.
I mentioned my feelings to my husband recently, and suggested we create some rules, at least for the Holidays. No coming over without being invited, and if you come over on a work-night you have to stay at a hotel (which is no financial burden to her). I told him that maybe if we had a bigger house, or if I wasnt the one spending most of the time with his family (he works too much) it would be easier. He thinks that is TOTALLY UNREASONABLE. Help! I am leaving out all the details, like how she calls him and guilt trips him about everything, how she treats me etc. Should he really leave our door so open to her like this?

This post was submitted by Alta.

going to court over the in laws

now ladies i am 20 years old. my husband and i have been married almost 2 years. we met may of 2006. got engaged june 2006. got pregnant july 2006. found out i was pregnant august 2006. got married september 2006. i know not a long time knowing each other. but it was love at first site. well to start off from the first day i meet his mom his mom has told chuk (my husband) that he could do better. then of course she played nice to my face. well the day my daughter was born she decided she wanted to grab me and when she did it set me into preterm labor. we just found out that day that my daughter was breech. i was exactlly 8 months pregnant. she called me every name in the book. said she was going to take my daughter away from me that i was a bad wife. i was rushed to the hospital and of course my husband brought her. i was so mad. security almost had to escort her out of the hospital. my daughter and i almost died that day because she grabbed me the wrong way. i had to have an emergency c-section. what kind of person would risk harming their grandchild just because she was mad at me.

This post was submitted by sunshinegoddess2008.

The Best Reason Never To Get Married–

 Someday She Might Move In! I tell all the young people I work with this, because it happened to me 14 months ago. I haven’t counted time in months since my son was 2 years old. This is truly the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my 51 years of life and I don’t see any legal end in sight. Due to financial stupidity she had to move in with us. I personally think a mother should live with her daughter when something like this happens but she choose us, mainly because my 17 year old son insisted. She never even asked my husband or me if she could, but here she is and let me tell you I have never seen anyone as lazy or selfish as her. Her idea of helping me is to stay out of my way while I do all the work around the house. Of course that’s after I work a full time job as a server in a family restaurant. So after working all day I have to come home and wait on her sorry ass, cook, do dishes, clean, laundry etc… She stays in bed til at least noon every day and stays up til at least 3am watching TV. My place of employment is now my happy place and anyone who has ever worked as a server can tell you it’s not often a happy job. Sometimes after work I just sit in my car in the parking lot for a while because I hate the thought of what’s waiting at home for me. If it wasn’t for my son I might not go home at all. I hope he knows if he leaves home he has to take her with him. I have a lot more to say but I’ll save it for next time if anyone cares to hear it.

This post was submitted by Maryann.

Narcissistic Mother -in - law Beast!

My mil has been pressing my buttons for ten years. I am a Leo, and I am much stronger and smarter- but enough is enough. She only thinks and talks about herself - her plans , her needs . She has no man - or boyfriend for over 30 years–Yikes ! I can only imagine what pent up frusterations exist below them drawers- Anyhow - she coddles my husband and is constantly manipulating us- she is also very dishonest and when I confront her she straight out lies - if my husband tries she cries - I try to set boundaries but nothing works . Help Any advice!!!!!

This post was submitted by Sarah Jarvis.

I woke up from my dream and found

myself feeling lost….Well I wish I could say that it was a incredible morning, or even just a good morning but, its not. I dreamed I finally told off my MIL and SIL from hell. It felt so good I felt relieved in that dream all my emotions were let out and, I let them have it; with no regret of what came out my mouth. Telling them off all felt so good. To bad I had to wake up and I find myself so depressed b/c I want to so bad be done with those freaking snobby, selfish, two-faced, tacky people. They act only nice when its convenient, they only think of themselves which they think they’re better. They act just as tacky as the next jerk. But yet they get along well with the wealthier people. I don’t come from a tight nit family or money. I grew up in a hard environment,they grew up in private schools had almost everything they wanted and live like they are rich pretty much.
My husband says he knows that they talk behind my back b/c they do it to everyone else. I am a stay at home mom now, before I had a few jobs but, it didn’t pay off much just daycare and a little food. Which my hubby didn’t care for, so a babysat other children while rasing my own. My sil was nice then b/c I watch her beautiful daughter. Later I told her after the summer I wouldn’t babysit b/c I need to go back to school to get a nice paying job for around here. She told me I should babysit til January until her young one could go to pre-k. I said that I didn’t want to wait that long and she replied if my husband gets another job like he was trying; making alot more,would I do anything but stay home.The next day she gets a new babysitter not telling me she tells my hubby to tell me..I beleive she was pissed so she “showed me” that is why she switched babysitters. I loved her girl coming she is the same age as my youngest. I grew close to her. That family acts like I do nothing with my life b/c I don’t have a 9-5 job. I have gotten comments, like today woman want rights like men so they have to work too. That is bullshit, b/c my job is 24/7 and I always have my children.I have no help. After five years it hasn’t changed just gets worse, I’ve tried to have relations with them but, its never gonna happen. I figured by now why should it, especially it they do not respect me at all. I want to move far away from them…..Am I going Crazy???????

This post was submitted by lynn.

The desperate

DEAR FRIENDS I NEED SOME ADVICE REGARDING MY MOTHER-IN-LAW.  SHE IS A PAIN IN THE A… SHE IS THERE EVERY STEP WE MAKE, BUT WHAT REALY BOTHERS ME IS THAT MY HUSBAND LISTENS TO HER .  HIS DECISIONS ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH HIS MOTHERS IDEAS. PLEASE HELP.

This post was submitted by AIRAM RIVERA.

The worst pregnancy of my life

My husband and I have been together since I was 18, I’m now almost 23 and we’ve been married for almost 2 years (come Dec). I never complained too much about his mother and her overbearing ways because she’s always been nice to me (even if she’s been giving out advice that was not wanted or needed) and put up with her ‘that’s not right’ or ‘that’s no good’ stuff she’d say about our relationship or my family, I dealt with it because I love my Husband dearly and we’re good together. Well last September, before my 22nd birthday, I realized I was pregnant. At the time, my hubby and I were living with my parents and siblings and splitting rent to save money (we wanted to buy our own home). That night, we informed my side of the family since we lived with them lol (and called my sis who was about 6 months pregnant herself), and the next day, we went to his parents home to let them know. Of course, there was laughing and hugging and congrats in order, but before we could even settle down, I was being whisked away to the mall to baby shop and being told we had to move out of our home soon, even suggesting the next month.

This post was submitted by Jessica.

not your usual question.

I am a 57 yr old widow who was married for 34 yrs. I met my partner 2 yrs ago and we live together my problem is his mother has total control over him and he loves it! He sees himself as the giver and he is very selfless. She however is the bat from hell. Our first few meetings she sprayed a very strong perfume over me and said there was a bad smell in the place! My mate trys to stick up for me but he also is very condesending when he wants to be so she basically rules his time and choices.My prtner has not been in a relationship for over 20 yrs ( probably because of her) He says he loves her and wants me to fit in with their plans. What am I doing I adore my man but not his mother who we have to see four times a week all day!

This post was submitted by Linda.