Mother-in-Law HELL

JuZtNsWiFeY said on 30/07/08 @ 11:21pm

I had a problem similar to yours when I first married my husband…his mom was always in our personal life needing to know every lil detail and quarrel we had…me being new to the family and not wanting to step on any toes or hurt any feelings i kept my mouth shut for quite sumtime…because i was afraid of how my husband might react to these feelings i had toward her…month after month into our marriage she got worse and worse…not being able to take it anymore i spoke to my husband about the way i felt and seeing that he understood what i was talking about we both sat down with her and chatted about the way i felt…now im not afraid to step up and tell her when boundaries are being crossed and she respects my wishes and stays out of our personal life…so the best advice i can give is to SPEAK UP!!!…if your husband really loves you then he will understand that when he took you as his wife your needs and feelings matter first and formost!!!…hope this helps@—<—

Neka said on 17/08/08 @ 2:56am

I went through this with my man. As a result, we’re not together anymore after 8 years in relationship and 15 years of friendship. I should have put my foot down and tell his mom and sister to get a life. Now we’re both heartbroken. He spent 1500 minutes on the phone with his mom in one month. She told me a bunch of lies to make leave him alone. She made him get order of protection against me and when he dropped it she flipped out. She called him stupid, dumb, and that she was going to kill both of us. I don’t know what will happened between me and him. But I do know that he still loves me and don’t want to be with anyone else and neither do I. He lost a lot of weight and refuses to talk to me. He claims that he wants to move on with life but if that’s the case why is he grieving. Any thoughts on this?

Mary said on 20/08/08 @ 9:51pm

I am a CEo and editor of my own magazine – but that it is not enough for my Pmil-(potential) . She stops over at any time which sometimes I really dont mind but it’s the point of what she doe’s when she gets here – my fiance iss a bit of a tyrant so he complains about alot like oprah and etc. well she cosigns – for all of you who dont know what that means – Co sign ( Besides signing your name for a person to qaulify for property they would not originally for – the ghetto term – kissing ass excesively- more than usaul – boot licking etc)Example- lets say I turn to oprah – then he let out a gasp like “oh Lord’- and then she snickers and says – oh my goodness I know he is hating that or ha ha ha poor tim ” aaaarrrrrggghhhh I hate that or she aiways says – I know my kids – cant nobody tell me about your kids – I m sure – that why her chidren are emotional wrecks – But I do love my fiance – but I think his mother needs to get a back bone and stop being a slippery pretty snake – The end – god bless all sweet daughter n laws

MILtyrant said on 30/08/08 @ 9:34pm

I feel for you guys because I am right there with you, especially Mary!!! U really described my MIL. I can tell you ONE thing that things will not get better after the marriage. My MIL treats my husband not only like a child but like a girlfriend, teasing him and coochie-ing him in front of me…which drives me INSANE!!! She is always acting like, “Oh I know my children” better than anybody and my children are so great, while they are quite brats! Although I do love my husband, I would suggest u to think things over before. Play it smart from start. Let her know where you draw the line. My MIL for which I will always hate her…took over the complete wedding and made it happen the way she wanted it. I resent her till this day. Please be emphatic and assertive from the very start and let her know what u will not have her do with you.
Best wishes.

Christine said on 09/09/08 @ 8:53pm

Hi everyone! Well, there’s been a little change since I left my first message that I think might help everyone. Ever since I decided to forgive my in-laws a little and go to a party they were throwing for my husband’s birthday, and they decided to passively make a comment right in front of me: (”I’ll sit next to her because I know no one else wants to!”), I have not gone to anything involving them ever since. I have decided that I will not subject myself to any form hurt from them. Since then, they have complained that my husband will not come over, and have asked us to come over, but I REFUSE… and since my husband won’t go to a party without me (he says that he will feel embarrassed because they’ll want to know what he’s doing without his wife) then he won’t go! So after a while, I think that they have realized that it you do not make the wifey happy, they you will not be happy! All throughout history, it has been the woman that has been the most powerful in the relationship even though it does seem like the husband… shhh! I say that I think they realize this now because now his mother will say hi every time I see her, she’ll compliment me, and she’ll speak in English once in a while! Also, I have not heard of any remarks from his sisters lately. I feel a lot better!mad

Tracey said on 30/09/08 @ 5:40pm

Hey I never knew there were so many controlling mother in laws out there i feel so much better – and like Christine I am the same my MIL and sister in law is beginning to realise they are losing there son because i will not visit them anymore therefore he will not visit them -due to when he was hospital recently I asked for one hour a day on my own visiting with him they refused saying I had not known him long enough and he needed his mum more and I was selfish – what a goddam freak she is – The nurses ended up letting me visit outside of visiting times – God help us daughter in laws

dil said on 30/10/08 @ 12:05pm

i have the worst mil from hell…. i have to live with her and i think she has driven me and her son apart, congratulations to her

NurseK said on 31/10/08 @ 7:19pm

This sounds JUST like my husband and his mothers’ relationship! She treats him like a KING, always sending him gift cards, money, paying his bills, giving him a credit card that he uses and THEY PAY for… when we drive there for the weekend (2.5 hrs away) he is greeted with gifts and goodies and meals galore… laundry done and pressed, you name it!!

Also, I don’t think she’s ever thought I was good enough for her son because a) I am not hispanic (which his mom is- his dad is German) b) I am agnostic and she is hard-core Catholic c) I do not cook and clean and tend to my husbands every need like she always has. I’m just not that type of person!!

Annoyed Wife said on 06/11/08 @ 3:05pm

Wow this is like reading my own story! (overbearing mil) i empathise really i do.. especially when it comes to the mother not realising that NO this is not HER husband but yours. I mean i get that mothers are meant to care and fuss a BIT but having seen how my MIL carries on its as though she’s trying to outshine me! i really dont think there is anything that we can do to change this as our men dont see our points of view, and see us as being petty.

All i know is that when i decide to have kids and if i have sons i plan on raising STRONG men who’s apron strings WILL be cut at the appropriate time. I refuse to become an over bearing MIL thats going to make some poor girl’s life miserable.

MIL’s need to realise that they HAD their chance of being a wife! they HAD their chance of fussing over their sons! why dont they just back off and let their sons lead NORMAL lives and maintain a HEALTHY mother, son, relationship! *sigh*

jessnjosef said on 08/11/08 @ 3:17am

I feel at home on here your stories is exactly like mine she cooks for him, he had a cold one night and she cut up his food (he is almost 26) I was like are you. She texts him like at least 20 times a day and calls him all throughout the day and then he has to talk to her before he comes to bed which means I don’t see him until around 1030 or later , then he falls asleep when I try talking to him,she acts all nice around me unless I pissed her off by doing absolutely nothing (EXAMPLE)I told my bf that it smelled like a cat peed on the floor somewhere and she took it as I was saying her house was not being taking cared of come to find out the cat litter boxes were not changed in a while and it was stinking up every where but she should have not been mad at me she should have changed the stupid things or get rid of the cats they have 7 yuck, I have a newborn and I hate animals around her.and then she storms out of rooms when I am around and hides in her room we all live together and I want to get out I have told my bf I am going to give up and let her win but then I see him cry and I try to hold it in a lil longer I just wish he would grow up but I understand once he does move out either 2 things will happen either she will get worse and he will run to her or he will cut ties with her thats what I am hoping for I don’t mind if he needs babying I just wish it was from me more I want to take care of him now and I wish she would go away!!!!!!

Mags said on 09/11/08 @ 1:57am

My story is slightly different. The MIL is nice-so nice-toooo nice. Always asking do you want this -I can do that for you. For fiancees birthday 30th we went a restaurant for a meal on her-then she went out to the car and brought out a huge cake she had made in a special shop-then she got out the balloons-then she stuck sparklers with a huge number 30 in the cake and smiled at me-saying I hope you dont mind. Its almost like sugar coated arsnic that she serves up to me all the time. My fiancee just does not see it-we are getting married next year-6 years of living together-nearly every appliance in our house has been bought by his mother. Yes very generous-but-I mentioned to partner woudnt it be nice if we could buy something we liked instead of our home turning into your mothers house. He said I was being ungrateful. Its a no-win situation because I dont want to upset anybody and I dont have much family of my own. He spends around 2 hrs or so spread over a week talking to his mother on the phone-the last comment was-have you got the carpet fitted yet? because I will come and buy that for you-you just let me know dear. Dreading the prep for wedding-she retires from teaching 3 months before. I give up.

josie said on 12/11/08 @ 8:18pm

I have the mother of all mother in laws…She has been certified by two states in the U.S to be legally insane, a violent paranoid schizophrenic, a life long alcoholic, drug addict and has moved in and out of her mothers house at least 12 times in the past two years. She has been homeless for about 6 months and both she and my hubby’s grandmother treat my husband like he’s two. They are very jealous of me and have done everything in their power to break us up. These two are thick as thieves and would lie, cheat, steal and kill to get what they want and they would cover for reach other till the day they die. My MIL “thinks” she’s a nurse and that the government is out to get her. She hides in the bushes every time a helicopter flies overhead and even at 60 yrs of age, will go to the first bar she can find and sleep with every nasty looser in the joint, just to take their money and send them to an early grave. They have never been responsible and she was a horrible mother who had orgies and drug parties will my husband starved in the next room. She constantly took money from him and made him (as a child) go door to door, begging for money so she could buy drugs. She even tried to kill him one day (when he was one) by turning on the gas and leaving him in the kitchen to die.
Boy- I sure picked a winner of a family to marry into didn’t I? My hubby’s family is as messed up as you can get. They ALL have mental, drug and alcohol problems and are pathological liars. They resent me because I am not “like them” and we are unable to even get together for a holiday or family picture without someone in his family being sent to the loony bin or jail. (yes, she has been arrested any times, and grandma came to her aid every time and bailed her “little baby” out.

Her lack of intelligence and sanity has led my husband to be a financial nightmare, unable to pay bills, keep a job or act like a man. He is constantly being babies and bailed out of his screw up s by his grandma. He never learns to grow up or be a man, because he knows grandma feels guilty for bearing such a horrible daughter and she refuses to let him go free and be his own man.

I have always been independent, strong, career orientated and well educated. They all hate me because I am catholic and come from a rich family. I had to get married by a JP because his family refused to enter a catholic church on our wedding day, and my mother in law threatened to shoot me with a shot gun when we told her we got married. (she had a real shotgun pointing at me) I’m not kidding…

Lord- it’s been 18 yrs and I am soooo sick of dealing with his family- especially my MIL. I have been trying to move back to be with my family for 17 yrs- but my husband won’t cut the cord – his grandma keep telling him she’s sick and he can’t leave- but she’s in better shape than I am. (and she’s 75) I don’t know what to do- my family is getting older and having very serious health problems and because of my hubby’s family- I haven’t been able to spend more than a week every ten-15 yrs with them (of course, we’re poor because of his credit and financial screw ups. He’s even stolen from me and lied about it- I am very very sick with a neuro/autoimmune disease and I cannot work anymore- so I am left to deal with all of this with no money and no options. My MIL has already been linked to two “suspicious deaths” of unknown origin and I’m afraid she will get drunk, be of her meds and do something crazy to our home one day. She is also Bi-polar- so when she is drinking and off her meds- she goes on a violent tirade and all hell breaks loose.

So this is my life in a nutshell….

Anybody have any advice ?

“harried and hopeless”

Bunny said on 22/11/08 @ 6:29am

My advice to you i know this sounds harsh but give him an ultimatem either he tells her to but out or you are going to leave and when he can act like a man you will come back if he he loves you as much as he claims to he wont let you go but be serious it works believe me i did it with my hubby & he confronted her besides you have your own family & that is what has 2 be enforced onto him you do not need her believe me you will be so much happier and if hes a good man so will he

karen said on 23/11/08 @ 8:52pm

hello my name is Karen and I understand all of you guys, I’m going through the same thing.my mother-in-law is hypocrite, and what kills me is that she knows how to manipulate my husband, my husband says also that our daughter and I come at the same time that his family comes. I told him that once you get married your family is your wife and children’s but he doesn’t understand this can somebody tell me what I can do

Kimberly said on 28/11/08 @ 7:41am

This is two replies: First to MAGS- be so very careful of the ever-so-kind mil. I am living the same situation. We were together 4 years then married then 7 years later came baby. Mil was always too kind, too sweet- but a woman knows when another woman is using her kindness as a way of manipulating. Back her off now! Down the road when baby comes she will be all over your kid- she’ll have your husband believing everything she gives baby is best, all her suggestions are best, etc. My mil would actually show up at my house saying “Mother’s here! Look what she has for baby!” Nauseating! Then when you finally try to say enough is enough, they will both blame it on your hormones! BACK HER OFF ASAP- don’t let this go any further- buy your own everything!
On to KAREN: I don’t know if this will help you, but use the word “relatives.” Tell your husband that once he has a wife and kids they are his family and everybody else becomes a “relative.” Good luck though… I’m working with that too. That’s a really tough one.

I,M the monster-in-law said on 30/11/08 @ 2:14pm

What goes round, comes round…I pray your children, and future ‘in-laws” learn from you how to treat you when you are the “monster-in-law” because you’ve set the bar impossible to achive. That little guy you are teaching your family values to doesn’t need them because he will leave your values and do what his wife tells him to do and tell you to..well, you know. Make fun, BUT YOU WILL GET YOURS ( I know, you are saying to yourself “NOT ME… I will be a good MIL, I will walk away from my son so his wife won’t have anything to be upset with me for. I will turn myself into DILs clone so she will love me as she loves herself because DILs are perfect!

Carol

1

Joy said on 19/01/09 @ 1:24am

I am one of you all, I have been married to my husband and his mother for 18 years, Do what I am doing, getting a divorce. I finally have no try or want to left in me. There is room for only 1 woman in a marraige. Get OUT NOW don’t wait 18 years like I have .

Anna said on 30/01/09 @ 12:10am

My MIL treats my guy like a little boy – he’s almost 30! We were invited to join a recreation sports team for occassional tournaments by a couple we’re friends with and the MIL called to yell at him about how he should have had the decency to invite his sister and her fiance to join us. He got a 30 minute lecture on ’sibling etiquette’ and how rude it is for him to leave his sister out!! the sister is 27 YEARS OLD!

WTF – who does this? 1)We were invited, we didn’t plan the tournies 2)We live 3 HOURS away from the sister and 3)Back off lady.

anyhow, he came to me, not knowing what to do as the MIL throws these fits and then holds grudges for Years if he doesn’t do exactly as she says.

help?

ant said on 04/02/09 @ 11:28pm

hi i know the feeling. i have been with my bf for 1 year and his mum is so nosey she calls him every day to see what he is doing,where he is, to come to eat not to stay out late etc… we are both 25 yeras old. she treats him like a child and the problem is he says nothing to her and i get so angry. we want to live together and when he told her she went carzy. i need some advice coz it is getting to me so much we end up fighting every day especially after she calls im so down. please help

megan said on 05/03/09 @ 2:28am

Wow i cant believe how familiar these letters sound! I’ve been with my fianc’e over 2yrs now and even called off the wedding coz i couldnt take the mil’s control and wanting to do it her way. She treats him like a baby although he’s 25. It gets worse though coz i have to deal with his 2 sisters who are totally dependent on him and needy too. They’ve never liked him having gfrends and especially one sister who gets jealous, its sick. So i have 3other woman to deal with and i dont know what to do. If i say anything to him he says that they’re family and he’s allowed to care for them. They have a good father but for some reason they all depend on my fianc’e and want to control his life. I want to tell them all to get there own lives. Now i dont think i can go through with marrying him all because of them. Help!

Cathy said on 10/03/09 @ 12:57am

I can relate to some of the stories…Been with my husband for 10 years but getting tired of him not standing up to his mother. I knew his family was different from mine, my parents treated us like adults pretty early on, at the other extreme I am surprised my MIL is not spoon feeding my husband. She calls him stupid pet names in front of me, every time she visits she has to sit next to him on the couch and rub his thigh and if we go out shopping or something she likes to hold him by the waist…Feeling sick just thinking of it. She never respected me, sends emails or says stuff behind my back (read the emails, source of major fights) and just acts like I am some stupid kid. I am 31, I have a 2 year old (her first grandson but can’t even send him a Bday card…probably because he’s got my genes…) and another baby on the way, put myself through school, I work full time and still take care of my family, my house still make dinner every night..>I think she’s just jealous but now that I am pregnant I just can’t take her crap. She threw a fit and made a mess of Xmas (I was 8 weeks pregnant) and just apologized to my husband but would never apologize to me.
I am done trying to work things out….and I am about done with the fact my husband is not standing up to her!

golds said on 18/03/09 @ 3:00pm

re: Cathy said on 10/03/09 @ 12:57am

Cathy I can almost feel your pain completely. Almost because I haven’t had to endure the “pet names, rubbing of the thigh or having my MIL hold my husband by the waist”…that seems a bit extreme. I am however your age with a 7 year old son and 24 weeks pregnant. I have been married for close to 7 years and involved with my husband for a little over eight. My husband is 29 years of age and his mother treats him as if he was 13. She has given him a car (brand new, paid off) which he eventually traded in for the car of is choice, she has paid off his debts/bills, ones that he of course created all by himself for himself. She has picked him up from our house after we’ve had a fight. She has moved into my apartment building to be “closer”. He recently had his license suspended and so she comes right to the rescue by picking him up from home, work and takes him around if he needs something from the store for instance. She has allowed him to move out with me in with her on numerous occasions. She has bad mouthed me to our 7 year old and he does NOTHING. She has left me vulgar messages in the past and he did NOTHING! He will not stand up to her because she is “doing” what he wants, when he needs it..it is sick! It is not just the MIL however, my husband is also a BIG problem. If he wouldn’t allow for these things to happen they wouldn’t but because he does she has control. I’m expecting our second child as I mentioned early on in this post and our marriage is so OVER. MIL partially to blame…

sahlou said on 01/06/09 @ 5:39pm

My MIL likes to think that her son my hubby is a mommas boy but he absolutely hates it, told her that I have taken her baby away from her.

Her baby was 26 and we live 8 hrs drive away from them.
Whenever we visit she will cook and wash for him but tells me I have to do my own (even though I dont expect her to). When she visits us she tries to take over the cooking because she knows how her son likes his food cooked. I hate that also when they ask about us visiting them which is a bit hard money wise and also travelling with our 2yo she will go behind my back and ask him and try to convince him to do what she wants. I hate visiting or her even coming to visit us not because I want to stop her seeing her son but because she starts an arguement over the smallest things, not once in the 5 years hubby and I have been together that there has been a visit without one.

Last christmas she even deliberately brought me a mens pair of shorts in my hubby’s size as MY present when I told her they wouldnt fit and I had to give them to him as she wasnt spending any more money on me for xmas. At the moment she isnt talking to us as we have told her we are staying home this xmas as we have spent the past 3 xmas’ with them, she sent hubby a txt message today saying “Remember you have family in Sydney that want to see you and your daughter as well, not fair that HER family see you both all the time, I think you better rethink about visiting this xmas”

She tries to get involved with our arguements, she asked me when I told her I was pregnant if the baby was my husbands although I have NEVER cheated and have never gave them any reason to think I would have.

Thats my vent, all I can say is that I thank my lucky stars that we live 8 hrs apart and that I have caller id on my phone lol

sahlou said on 01/06/09 @ 5:55pm

A little bit more to add I just remembered,
when I was 3 months pregnant which was over xmas time, they had come to visit, we had to give them our bed as the fold out sofa wasnt comfortable enough for them, at the time we only had one lounge, they went out shopping so I decided to stay home and lay down for a nap, I woke up to my MIL whispering to hubby in the kitchen, he then calls me into the spare room to pass on a message from mother in law that I am being lazy and inconsiderate and whinging that I havent made her a cup of tea, I was fuming and walked out being silent, she asked me what MY problem was, I told her that Im sick of gutless ****’s getting hubby to play messenger boy instead of saying things to my face, arguement ended up with MIL threatening to take my baby off me as soon as she was born (OVER MY DEAD BODY), I told her that if she wants to be like that she better see a solictor about visitation rights, they ended up packing up to drive 8 hrs home, got 10 mins out of town and hubby convinced them to come back. She didnt and wouldnt apologize but ended up buying us a 2nd hand lounge and staying in a motel for rest of their visit lol.

I hate that hubby never sticks up for me, he claims he does but its when I walk away, and she never will apologize, its like sorry doesnt exist in her vocabulary. Once hubby called me in the room after MIL and I had an arguement and said Mum wants to talk to you, would you believe she had the gall to ask me are they allowed to come back for visits? NO apology!

Oh I also find it hypocritical that she whinges that she misses her son and granddaughter so much but when they come to visit she goes to bingo every day from 10.30am to 2.30pm and then gets annoyed with me when I dont want to go.

fedupabc said on 04/06/09 @ 10:00pm

I’m going through the same thing–except she calls like five or six times a day! She’s got on to the fact that I could see when she called his cell so she’s started calling his work phone–like a mistress!! She always calls when it would be logical for us to be together–like around dinner time on a Friday or Saturday night. I am so sick of it–we got in an argument the other day and I told her it had to stop. She just pulled the guilt trip (”I’m sorry I love my son…boo hoo”). I don’t understand these bitchy MILS. Get your own lives!!!!!!!

infuriated! said on 17/06/09 @ 9:47pm

I thought I was going nuts, and I was starting to think that I, myself was the crazy one until I started to read your testimonies ladies.
What a relief to know that this issue is much more common that I had initially though.
But in all certainty, its really crappy for all of us.
I am a very straight forward person, and I don’t like deceit, lies or undermining.
However it has been happening for the last 2 years of my relationship and I am at my wits end!
When do you draw the line?
After countless times of telling him to let his mother know to butt out, and I myself telling her to let her GROWN MEN be grown men!
I’ll give you a little recap- (this only scratches the surface of her lunacy) She sends money once (or more) a month, pays for extravagan trips, sends care packages in the mail, calls EVERY DAY, and if we don’t answer our home line, she will call his cell phone about 10 times in a row, then mine, work and so the chaos begins.
Take a hint woman!
It’s terrible because its like the boy who cried wolf, what if we don’t answer? What if there was an emergency, well a REAL one, her idea is not being able to get a hold of my bf everyday….but yeah what if?
She needs to know every single detail of our lives, and what we did, what we are going to do, how we are going to do it…aaaaah!!!!!!!! It makes me so angry that she cannot just respect our privacy! She has caused nothing but stress between my bf and I and I am at the point where my love for him won’t out-do her vindictive and selfish behaviour. I would like save my sanity, and not give up, but aparently as it seems I cannot have both. It’s either leave him or put up with her crap. Either way I seem to lose.

Kat said on 24/07/09 @ 5:36am

Yep! That kinda sounds like my MIL. Me and my husband lived with his parents when we were engaged and she would still do his laundry and baby him. She still to this day calls him almost every day and if he doesn’t answer his phone she will keep calling and calling and calling! And then when he calls her back she’s like “I’d tried to call you…what are you doing?” It’s soo annoying. She has to know what we’re doing all the time! She’ll even give him leftovers that she cooked at her house for my husbands lunch at work…it makes me feel like I can’t do anything right and that I’m not doing a good job. You’re not alone girl! Just pray!

Jackie said on 02/08/09 @ 7:38pm

Well, due to love for my hubby, I have put up with a manipulative & selfish MIL for 25 years. The only saving grace is that she lives out of state.

We were living together 26 years ago, with my 4yr old son. My husband would make sure his mom did not find our we were living together by making my son leave the room, go outside, etc. when she called, or if he called her. When we married he was afraid to tell her & when he finally did call her, he had to tell her at least five times..I was there 2wks after we married. He was afraid to call her & I made him. She would send letters to his two siblings telling them how much she disliked me, etc.,they’ve both told me this. She did the same to my husband’s brother, we would constantly get letters with her telling us how she prayed he would leave his wife, because she was hispanic and had three children. My husband’s sister had a very good job in the city and lived with her boyfriend for four years. He was very responsible, had a very good job, but smoked & drank beer so he was not good enough either. My MIL actually drove an hour and went to the office where my SIL worked, and reamed her up and down in front of co-workers. They eventually married and her husband comes first. Neither my hubby’s brother or sister are afraid to stand up for their spouses. Mine, on the other hand, was always her favorite (first-born….I’ve been reminded by her many times) When my husband adopted my son when he was 8, he was again afraid to tell his mom because this would confirm that he was not leaving me/us. He took a trip to Texas to tell her & his dad, who was a wonderful man. He told me he told her at the airport as he was leaving San Antonio, but now after all these years, I really do not know if he ever told her. I have made the mistake of sending her flowers for mother’s day, birthdays, Christmas gifts, etc. He never appreciated it…or if he did, he never showed it. So every time she comes to visit, usually annually, after a few days the tension rises because my husband will not stand up for me…for instance, one time she was making mashed potatoes, cooked them in a teflon pan and used the electric beater, I told her we needed to use another pan, it would ruin the teflon one and we would have teflon flakes in our potatoes. My husband said no, no…it’s OK! I told him it WAS NOT OK. Just stupid things like this have gone on over the years.

I would like nothing better than to have a MIL that I could be close to, but this woman is not right. She kisses and hugs her son and mumbles sweet nothings into his ear when she sees him, when she goes to bed, etc. He hates it, it’s embarassing to him but yet he will not speak up to her. When our 3 children were young, we HAD to go there on vacation, while his other siblings were going other places having great times. We would have to go to his mom’s. One time we had plans to go to Fiesta Texas, our kids were so excited. She tried to force us into going to Sea World. This went on for two days & continued after we got in the car to leave for the amusement park, after all…she was used to controlling her son at all times when she was present. I think this was the only time he stood his ground and that’s because I told him we were NOT going to Sea World, we had been planning this for months.

My son that was 4 when we were first together is now 30. He has two precious children. Since their father is not a “blood” relative, she has never treated him like his two brothers. Nor does she even know when her only two great-grandchildren’s birthdays are. When it is my husband’s birthday, she sends him at least $100-$200. She used to send me $10 but stopped sending cards years ago. And of course, my husband would NEVER tell her I made the photo-calendar that she loved, picked out the lovely cards and sent the flowers for her son all of these years.

Now my SIL is throwing an 80th BD party for her. My husband informed me last night he didn’t want me going because he’s sure I will ruin the trip and party. I was appalled and extremely hurt. His brother & SIL will be there and we were staying at his sister’s house. They are all super people and all are well aware of how the MIL is. I have been a good wife, mother & daughter-in-law. I have bit my tongue numerous times but my MIL has literally ruined dinners at nice restaurants not to mention good times at our home. My hubby’s brother & wife renewed their vows several years ago, had an actual wedding and did not invite MOM because she had always been so hateful towards their relationship over the years.I know his brother would not consider going without his wife to this party as he adores her and puts her first. He many years ago was also afraid of his mom, but in the end, chose his wonderful wife over his mother, and they’ve had a great marriage ever since.

Bottom line girls, be the best wife you can & best daughter-in-law you can, but if you have a Mama’s boy, better set him straight from the beginning.

Jerrica said on 23/11/09 @ 11:39pm

I have the same problem as a lot of you do. My husband and I have been through so much. My MIL tried to tell my husband that our first child wasn’t his. Then had the nerve to call my mom to tell her I was a slut & that she wanted a DNA test. Thankfully my husband knew the truth & was by my side the whole time. But, My husband did not learn how to do laundry until he was 19 yrs. old & that is when I moved in with him. He did not know how to cook until I moved in with him and taught him. MIL still does his laundry, because she says I don’t do it right. My husband & I have been together going on 3 years & nothing has really changed. I dont’ know what to do. He will not move away from his precious mother, but yet he agrees that she needs to change. But he wont say anything to her. In the beginning I also wanted to be nice & not try to be disrespectful, thinking maybe it would stop one day. No, nothing has changed. I don’t know what else to do

Time said on 10/12/09 @ 9:28pm

Things have been so crazy for me that my bf and I have decided to go stay in a cabin in the woods, yes, away from his mother. His father sounded excited when he told him. He didn’t tell his mom. We will see what she will say but my bf has caught on to her and he told his brother that his mom is not a perfect angel. Hang in there ladies but like all the women have told you, you have to get things straight with you man. Realize you will never be the perfect women for the mil. Just realize you are perfect to yourself and your husband or bf.