I have a terrible mother-in-law. I can give you a hundred stories, but I will make this short and simple. On our Wedding Day, my in-laws wanted one picture of the immediate family(excluding me–the bride). That didn’t seem wrong at all. However, this is the one and only picture of the wedding that they have displayed in their living room! I was extremely hurt and annoyed by this. But till this ten almost 10 years later, I have kept my mouth shut. I have tried to ignore her but it’s getting harder and harder. Even though I am not blood-related, I am married to her son. Yet, she treats me like an outsider. I have so many more stories but this hurt the most
Linda
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Advice
9 Responses to “Picture Perfect without the Bride”
Every single holiday, Mother’s day, her BD, Christmas, I would give her a framed wedding picture that I was included in. That’s ALL she would get until that photo was displayed. If she says anything, just give her your sweetest smile.
Please let us know how it goes!
I love Betty Lou’s advice! Go for it!
Take a family portrait each year and give it to her. Don’t give any pictures (even of the kids) without you in it.
My mother in law took the framed picture of my husband and I and replaced it with a picture of her children. I just said, “wow, that frame looks familiar”
My former Mother in law kept a picture of my (now ex) husband and his girlfriend, the one she wanted him to marry in their house until about 3 days before our daughter was born. We had been together 2 years and married 1 . I told her that if she wanted to have her granddaughter come to her home, she would remove the picture. I agree, give her pictures with you in them. She is being petty and mean.
My FIL did the same thing. The irony is, he and mil got a divorce. *I* am still a member of his family, but mil is not. Glad you got your family only pic at MY wedding that I paid for. Jerk!
WOW. WOW. How ridiculous.. Ya, you’ve done well keeping your mouth shut. Don’t stoop to her level. That’s what I would have done. I think the best thing to do is kill her with kindness when you ABSOLUTELY have to be around them. When we respond with kindness to one who shows us ugliness it reaps burning coals upon their heads. Meaning it makes them realize how they’re acting, and it makes them feel bad themselves for acting that way.
I’m not considered thin and pretty enough to have my picture displayed at my in-laws. Sheesh! You’d think we were bikers with tatts and piercings…. (not that those are bad, but you get my meaning.)
Now don’t get me wrong. When it comes to looks, I have nothing to be ashamed of, and neither does my DH.
But I don’t wear a lot of makeup, and I don’t live for new clothes. DH and I are very comfortable dressers, but we do know how to “clean up” for special occasions and all. We just don’t feel the need to dress to the nines for a family picnic and activities like that.
The inlaws just don’t think that our pictures fit the family image they want to project.
Sorry for the late reply- new member.
Anyway, my MIL was doing a similar thing; when we would visit, she would only take pictures of her son- if he asked to have her stop and wait for me to get posed in with him, she’d say, “oh, sorry- out of film, or battery died,” or something totally lame. After a while, I decided it was time to “Kill her with kindness”. For her Christmas gift that year, she got about 10 Framed photos of me and my husband- Together, happy, smiling, in love! I told her “This will make him so happy, for us to come over and visit and see pictures of us hanging in your beautiful home…” then, I continued to smile ever so sweetly. She looked like she was about to fall over. By saying it would make her son happy to see the pictures in her house (and he was sitting there when I said that)- she was practically forced into accepting them, otherwise it would have been a direct slap to his face if she tossed them out. And by complimenting her home, anyone who heard us would think I was as sweet as can be…. To this day, every one of those pictures are still hanging in her house. Now, at least once a year I give her new and updated photos (always in frames so she doesn’t have to buy frames or work to put them into her frames).
Not all MIL’s are like her, some are clearly worse so it may not work so well with someone elses MIL, but it worked like a charm on this woman.
Best of luck, and stay strong. Remember, Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer. And always, Kill em’ with kindness!
I totally agree with Betty Lou.
What does your husbund say about it?